This father shares his experience with divorce and family court.  Destroyed emotionally, professionally, and spiritually he has been stripped of the dignity of being a parent, a professional, and a member of society.  Supporting documentation and the sense of responsibility he demonstrates are unnoticed. The presumption of 50-50 custody is needed. False allegations present problems for one parent with long-term consequences.  

Here is a survey for parents to take to assess the parental financial experience in family court.

Survey is for all parents who currently are, or previously have been to court for child custody matters.

Link to survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/FamilyCourtParentalFinancialExperience

One father’s experience:

I was married for several years. She had children and we had children together.

I came home from a biz trip. My ex was high and attacked me. This was not the first time she got violent with me. She told the police I was the aggressor, of course they believed her, so I ended up in jail.

It didn’t matter that I have statements from private care-givers and teachers, or a GAL report suggesting that mother should have supervised visits.

She is better at lying then I am at telling the truth-which makes it virtually impossible for me to get full custody of my kids. Unless, of course, I spend more money that I do not have (anymore). She has alienated my step children from me-kids who I loved as if they were my own for years.

So many family vacations,& father/son type trips and now I have zero contact with them. I was forced to pay her Atty, my Atty, GAL. I pay thousands of dollars each month in alimony, CS, and half of all child related expenses. I pay all medical, dental and summer camps. I am asked (extorted) to pay for other random expenses. God help me if I don’t.

My children are told not to listen to me, that I am a bad man, a loser, I do illegal things, I’m dumb, stupid, effin crazy, that I’m gay etc etc.

My kids are told I don’t want to see them when they are with her, or that I am keeping them from there mom when she decides to “allow” me to keep the kids for the summer. She never contacts the kids when with me and blocks me from contacting my kids when they are with her.

My kids are not allowed to tell daddy anything that goes on at mommy’s house. My kids are not allowed to call me, she even told the school not to call me.

I am now known as the wife abusing, drug addicted dead beat husband which has me so comfortable living in the community and my children’s teachers have started to ignore me and/or my requests.

I was accomplished and just started to reap some of the rewards for my many years of very hard work, all of which I had done before getting married.

Before marriage I had my pictures in major newspapers. Now, since that fateful day my mug-shot is online for anyone to see.

During my time with my ex I paid either to her, or for her, over a million dollars.   I have lost my savings.   What’s worse is that I am without the drive I once had. I suffer, I have an amputated spirit and my character has been assassinated.

How does one recover after losing awesome step-children and 1 of my own children? She even tried to take the dog.

Seeing my children slowly turn against me is extremely painful. Watching my children lie to my face is like a dagger thru the heart. I struggle daily at the thought of having to live in this tangled web of BS lies & deceit as I trudge my way thru the family court system as a single dad, which, is biased against fathers to say the least. It’s a nightmare of such epic proportions and way beyond my comprehension. It keeps me in such a deep depression that it’s hard to breath. I can go five days without even getting out of bed. My children have but one childhood and theirs is a crappy one.

Wish I knew what I did to deserve this.

#341, Reunited with Adult Children

Would you like to have a voice in the Family Court system? We want to know more about your child custody/child support issues.

Link to survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/FamilyCourtParentalFinancialExperience

One father shares his experience due to false accusations in his custody matter. The long-term impact of the emotional and financial devastation permeates all aspects of life.  Relationships with family, friends, and co-workers are forever altered due to the lies about them. Some individuals may never know the truth.  Parent-child relationships may never fully recover. Children may live their lives with false facts told about a parent they adore, cherish and love.  

Looking back over the past 3 years I can see that I was in a deep state of depression.  I  was ashamed because of the lies and accusations made by my ex.  I was ashamed because I was unable to protect my children from my wife who had ‘mental health problems.

I was falsely accused and labeled as an abuser.  I lost my job.  I had to move into my parents home.  I was labeled as a trouble maker in my county’s courthouse. The self-help division of family court even refused to help me.  The pain and shame I experienced will NEVER leave me.

I am unable to hold my head up high.  I can not live a normal life because of what my ex did.

The pain and shame will stay with me forever!

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#340, Impact of False Facts