How I Was Affected

 

An adult child of divorce offers advice to parents divorcing. He shares the need for children to receive emotional support in a parental divorce.  As a college student, he describes being put in the middle of arguments and adult matters. How confusing this must have been to him as a child. Adding to the confusion, his parents continue to put their now-adult child in the middle. Parental divorce is difficult enough and putting a child in the position of a tun-of-war game unfair and unnecessary.  

 

How I was affected

My name is Mike. I am an 18 year old freshman in college at the University of Texas. I was born and raised in New York. My parents got divorced when I was nine years old and my mom won custody of me and my younger brother. I was scared of my mom and, as a result, she was able to use me as a pawn against my father. My parent’s divorce went on for another ten years and I was primary source of communication between the two for the entirety of it. Although they have been divorced for a few years now, they are still fighting to this day, which upsets me. They try to involve me but I repudiate by telling them both that I cannot be involved in their disagreements anymore because their issues have corrupted my childhood. For all you parents out there, please make sure you do not involve your children in such a terrible process. It is not their job to know when their father is late on child support or how terrible of a person their mother or father may be. I wish I had other children to speak to during my parents divorce. I am hoping this forum (Divorce Force) will connect children in need of support with people that can act as an consiglieres during their parents’ divorce process.

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Divorce Force

#323, How I Was Affected