An adult child of divorce shares their experience. Shared Parenting is possible! Encouraging the relationship a child has with both parents removes the burden of having to choose sides. Children love both parents and want to maintain their special bond after divorce and separation. Support the relationship a child has with both parents!
A sweet story!
Anonymous: Hey guys, I am a child of divorce. You can share my story if you want, just leave my name off. My parents divorced when I was 4. my dad was an alcoholic and was violent towards my mother. He did get clean tho and stopped that behavior. My mom had hundreds of reasons to be bitter towards my dad..hundreds of them! She could have hated him for all he did to her and for all he put her through (and maybe she did but she never let that on to my sister and I) and could have kept him from us. My mom got full custody of me and my sister, with my dad paying child support, however I was allowed to be with him whenever I wanted. My mom never told me no. I had a bedroom at his house and a bedroom at my moms. If I felt like staying at moms, I did, and vice versa. Not once did I think my dad’s house wasn’t my home. They were both my home! I was never living out of a suitcase. I had two parents who both loved me and two parents that I equally needed in my life. I am so happy that they could put aside their differences and make it work for me and my sibling!
Exchanges were no big deal. As an adult, I know now they didn’t exactly like seeing each other but I would have never guessed that as a child! They were all smiles. They acted exactly the way adults should act!! When the opposition says that a child needs one home, I shake my head. Kids are so resilient and adapt so easily. Having one home with mom and one home with dad isn’t a problem to them…they adjust. Might there be a trial period, of course, but they will adapt!!
As far as 2 adults not being able to get along so shared parenting won’t work..I say this! Grow up! You chose to have a child with somebody so be adult enough to raise your child with them!! I would resent my mom today if she wouldn’t have allowed me as much time with my father as I wanted! A child having a bond with each parent is so so so important and one parent shouldn’t get in the way of that just because they don’t like their ex!! Shared parenting is definitely the way to go!!
p.s. Dear anonymous person,
Thank you for sharing this uplifting and heart felt story!
Anonymous experience shared on Facebook page of Supporters of North Dakota Shared Parenting on 10/30/2014
Note: Spacing to create paragraphs was added. Sibling replaced gender of sibling referenced. The words and order of the story are presented as submitted.