My Parent’s Divorce

 

This parent shares the heartache as a child of divorce. She endured abuse from her mother and was neglected by her father. These negative experiences shaped her own views of marriage and being a parent. She confesses to preferring a life without either parent. Regardless of each parent’s misdeeds, this is an unfortunate family experience for anyone.

My parents divorced 36 years ago when I was 6. I did not see my father for 32 years due to my mother making contact difficult and moving us hundreds of miles away when she remarried very quickly afterwards. On the other hand, my father did not pay any maintenance or take her to court to enforce contact and he was minted at one time. He brought up someone else’s kids instead.

As a mother myself now, who would never, ever stop my own kids seeing their father if we divorced as I know how much they love him, I think both of them (my parents) are disgusting and I will never have either of them in my life again.

I have had long lasting mental health issues due to my father’s abandonment and my mother’s emotional abuse because I was ‘evil just like your father’. It is the children who suffer for their parent’s selfishness.

#457, My Parent’s Divorce

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Mental Abuse of PA

 

This is the reality of an adult child of divorce (ACOD) raised by a narcissistic parent. “I wanted to share this with you because…even as a 31 year old, the effects of mental abuse are still very real for me, especially when it comes to my mother. Years and years of mind control cannot be erased in a decade. Yes, I am in a good place now, but it is because I choose to be and have been very careful to ensure I am in this headspace. Breaking that connection takes work. And a simple phone call that wasn’t even answered and very well could have been an accidental butt-dial *could* have set me off wanting my mother’s attention and love; it happened to me many times over the years. I know it’s a blackhole though. I have to be strong, for myself. Please try to keep this in mind and empathize with your alienated loved one. The emotional trauma of being raised by an alienator never goes away… Be strong and stay strong. Much love.” -KidOfPAS

#354, Mental Abuse of PA

As told on KidOfPAS.com, Facebook.com/KidOfPAS

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Why Did You Leave Me?

 

 

A common theme in divorce the child wishing the reuniting of their parents.  This artwork shows that this wishing continues into adulthood.   The impact of divorce continues on.  For some adult children of divorce, their live is forever tainted.

“I went to one of my dad’s parties, and I saw him kissing a woman.

Ah, the joys of having your parents be divorced.

Basically, anyway, I freaked out and started sobbing and wishing that my parents would get back together, even though they divorced when I was four.”

Deviant art why did you leave me i_miss_my_family_by_iwish909

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Deviant Art, I Miss My Family by iWish909

#342, Why Did You Leave Me?

 

 

Broken Holidays

 

One artists interpretation of the impact of divorce on the family.  This was done “after I learned of the impending divorce of one of my aunt and uncles… And the fact that said aunt probably wouldn’t be coming to that Thanksgiving or Christmas with the family. Family gatherings for my family generally means a lot of very delicious food, so that’s what came to mind with the image.”

Deviant Art broken_holidays_by_silvervistani

 

Deviant Art, Broken Holidays

#336, Broken Holidays

How I Was Affected

 

An adult child of divorce shares their psychological nightmare from divorce. How unfortunate this child sees that they were used as a pawn.  What an awful feeling that must be.  Parents have a responsibility to LOVE their child!  A sad story!

 

 

How I was affected

My name is Mike. I am an 18 year old freshman in college at the University of Texas. I was born and raised in New York. My parents got divorced when I was nine years old and my mom won custody of me and my younger brother. I was scared of my mom and, as a result, she was able to use me as a pawn against my father. My parent’s divorce went on for another ten years and I was primary source of communication between the two for the entirety of it. Although they have been divorced for a few years now, they are still fighting to this day, which upsets me. They try to involve me but I repudiate by telling them both that I cannot be involved in their disagreements anymore because their issues have corrupted my childhood. For all you parents out there, please make sure you do not involve your children in such a terrible process. It is not their job to know when their father is late on child support or how terrible of a person their mother or father may be. I wish I had other children to speak to during my parents divorce. I am hoping this forum (Divorce Force) will connect children in need of support with people that can act as an consiglieres during their parents’ divorce process.

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Divorce Force

#323, How I Was Affected

Celebs and Their Parents’ Divorce (2).

 

Divorce is a sad time for many children of divorce. Celebrity status does not offset the reaction to a parents’ divorce.  Emotional insecurities, and the trauma of divorce are the same for everyone.  There is no escape from the confusion and devastation caused by a parents’ divorce!

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Actor and former footballer VINNIE JONES:

‘I had a brilliant childhood until Mum and Dad divorced when I was 13. That changed my life because it was like one of your parents dying. Divorce makes you rebel – it gives you insecurities and a licence to do what you want, because your mum and dad are always playing a game with you.’

Socialite TAMARA ECCLESTONE

‘All I wanted was for Mum and Dad to get back together. I felt like everything I’d known had gone. When they split up, I took refuge in food. I ate and ate and ate. But still I couldn’t fill the void. When they divorced I found it hard to deal with. It was a big change – and I’m not good with change.’

 

Actress ISLA FISHER:

‘You can’t underestimate how traumatic divorce is for the children. When your parents divorce, it makes you grow up fast. I’d urge parents to strongly consider working things out. I’d work things out and I’d definitely stay put. Especially if there were babies involved.’

IGELLA LAWSON:

‘Because my parents divorced when we were in our late teens, my siblings and I developed strong connections. you don’t live with your parents in the same way.’ Nigella recently divorced her second husband Charles Saatchi on the grounds of his continuing unreasonable behaviour.

One Direction’s HARRY STYLES

‘When I was seven my mum and dad divorced and that was quite a weird time. I remember crying about it. I didn’t really get what was going on properly – I was just sad that my parents wouldn’t be together any more.’

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#319, Celebs and Their Parents’ Divorce (2)

 

 

Celebs and Their Parents’ Divorce (3)

 

Everyone experiences divorce differently;yet the emotions and feelings are the same

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ALISON EASTWOOD (daughter of Clint Eastwood)

‘My parents divorced when I was six. I had to grow up very fast. It’s hard as a kid not to take a break-up personally. Even if your parents say, ‘You did nothing wrong’, there’s still a part of you that thinks, ‘Is it me? Do they not love me?’ You feel like the glue that sticks them together, and when that comes undone, there’s always that awful little thing in the back of your mind. I felt rejected and that affects your self-esteem.’

 

 

PEACHES GELDOF (daughter of Bob Geldof and Paula Yates)

‘My parents had a very public, bitter divorce and I was old enough to see what was going on. People talked about us and I knew it was horrendous. For us children, it was an environment that was impossible, veering between a week with my mother and then a week with my father. It was like living on a permanent seesaw. Those feelings have stayed with me.’

 

 

PETER HUHNE, son of former cabinet minister Chris Huhne

Devastated over his parents’ marriage break-up, his father’s infidelity and lies about a speeding offence, Peter [pictured with his mother Vicky Pryce] said to him: ‘So nice to see our entire relationship reduced to lies. Do you take me for an idiot? The fact you said your parents were happier as a result of their divorce was disgusting’ You are the most ghastly man I have ever known.’

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News presenter SUSANNA REID

‘I had a choppy childhood after my parents divorced when I was nine. When Mum told me that she and Dad were getting divorced, I cried and cried. I don’t blame them and I know it was the right thing, but it was so sad.’

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Singer CORINNE BAILEY RAE:

‘My parents divorced when I was a teenager. As the eldest of three sisters, I was my mum’s confidante. You grow up fast working out how something went wrong.’

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TV presenter AMANDA DE CADENET

‘I came from a divorced home and displayed all the behaviour of a young woman struggling to find an identity and seeking to fill the loneliness with anything I could.’

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#315, Celebs and Their Parents’ Divorce (3)