Pulled in Two Directions

Pulled in Two Directions

This child is pulled in two different directions.  Each parent is hanging on tightly. Is one parent pulling a little harder?  Children want to have both parents close by.  Is there a way to help these parents work together?  

Pulled in Two Directions

Divorce by lexidh

#230 http://lexidh.deviantart.com/art/Divorce-17369912

Give this Note to Your Dad

 

A bright character is the primary object on this artwork. Sun rays in the upper corner and the message below completes this drawing.  Note has the letter “W” on the outside.  Is this significant to the name of the child or parent? Putting the child in the middle of communications between the parents is unfair.  I hope these parents realize how these actions impact their child. Divorce is between the parents-about the child. LOVE WINS!

#444, Give this Note to Your Dad

Categories: Impact on child, A child’s View

 

Chocolate Chip Cookies are the Answer

 

Creating memories is an integral part of childhood. One child shares their expert opinion on how to make things better. Children need and want to have a relationship with both parents.
Support Equal Shared Parenting!

 

#579, Chocolate Chip Cookies are the Answer

Take a Step in the Right Direction

 

This parent offers encouragement in trying Shared Parenting! Excellent advice to parents involved in custody matters.  The take-home message is that shared parenting may not be easy; however, everyone in the family will benefit. Taking steps toward  co-parenting is an ongoing process….. in the right direction.

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Take a step in the right direction and try co-parenting. I know sometimes it may seem impossible and you might feel like your doing it alone, but it will get better. When I first started my journey there were many times where I felt defeated and wanted to give up. Heck, sometimes I still feel like that, but then I think of my beautiful son and I know he deserves both his mommy and daddy. I have no idea what I’m doing but I know I’m doing it well… or at least I’m trying too!

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Co-Parents R Us.  

Link to FB page: https://www.facebook.com/Coparentsrus

#275, Take a Step in the Right Direction

Well Treated Fathers

 

This mother shares the reality of shared parenting!  Put the child first!   She eloquently shares the emotional aspects of shared parenting-sharing holidays and life events with her co-parent.  Children need both parents in their lives.  If the child had two parents involved in their life before the divorce-the special bonding experiences should continue.

Divorce is between the parents and about the child! 

LOVE WINS!

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I am a mother of 4! Three boys with my ex husband and a daughter with my ex fiancé. Both dads have full open access to their children and are welcome to see them as much as they want. I invite them to everything they are doing and they overnights on weekends as often as possible. Was it extremely difficult the first time I had to send my babies off without me the first time? Yes. Did I cry on Halloween when their dad took them trick or treating instead of me last year? Yes. Did I see the inside the first time I handed my toddler over to step mom? D*** right!! But I did it anyway because dads are important. I couldn’t live without my daddy, so I sure am not going to take my kids dads away from them no matter why it didn’t work out.

The more ppl that love and support my children the better for them and as a mother that is all I can ask for! There is no other option that is valid. Mothers need to embrace the situation, let go of hurt and put their children first. And children need daddy time!!! Period. 
I have 4 happy, well adjusted children because they have happy, well treated fathers.

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As shared The Father’s Rights Movement, August 8, 2015.

Link to FB page: https://www.facebook.com/Fathers4kids?fref=nf

#273, Well Treated Fathers

 

 

 

Focus on the Child!

 

A message to parents from someone who understands the concept of Shared Parenting!  The legal arena of divorce focuses on the parents as the plaintiff and respondent instead of the parents of the child in a custody matter.  Focus should be on the child  ……….because, shared parenting is  clearly in the best interest of the child!

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Shared parenting shouldn’t ever be entered into as a compromise for parents who both want full custody. Instead it should always be entered into as a choice made for the children who both deserve as much time as possible with both parents.

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#254, Focus on the child!

Positive Co-Parenting

 

Children have the DNA of both parents! Negative comments made about one parent sends the wrong message and…may also apply to your child.  Nurturing the relationship your child has with your co-parent is critical. An act as simple as encouraging your child to pick out a gift for your co-parent on Father’s Day demonstrates care and concern.  

Support the relationship a child has with both parents! 

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A couple weeks ago, my son and I were at a store and I asked him what he wanted to get his papa for father’s day? He ran around the store looking for a gift for his papa! My son was so excited to “surprise papa” This made my heart happy.

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# 156, Positive Co-parenting

Experience from an adult child of divorce

 

An adult child of divorce shares their experience. Shared Parenting is possible!  Encouraging the relationship a child has with both parents removes the burden of having to choose sides.  Children love both parents and want to maintain their special bond after divorce and separation.  Support the relationship a child has with both parents!

RESEARCH STUDY! Survey is for all parents who are or have been to court for child custody matters.

Link to survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/FamilyCourtParentalFinancialExperience

A sweet story!

Anonymous: Hey guys, I am a child of divorce. You can share my story if you want, just leave my name off. My parents divorced when I was 4. my dad was an alcoholic and was violent towards my mother. He did get clean tho and stopped that behavior. My mom had hundreds of reasons to be bitter towards my dad..hundreds of them! She could have hated him for all he did to her and for all he put her through (and maybe she did but she never let that on to my sister and I) and could have kept him from us. My mom got full custody of me and my sister, with my dad paying child support, however I was allowed to be with him whenever I wanted. My mom never told me no. I had a bedroom at his house and a bedroom at my moms. If I felt like staying at moms, I did, and vice versa. Not once did I think my dad’s house wasn’t my home. They were both my home! I was never living out of a suitcase. I had two parents who both loved me and two parents that I equally needed in my life. I am so happy that they could put aside their differences and make it work for me and my sibling!

Exchanges were no big deal. As an adult, I know now they didn’t exactly like seeing each other but I would have never guessed that as a child! They were all smiles. They acted exactly the way adults should act!! When the opposition says that a child needs one home, I shake my head. Kids are so resilient and adapt so easily. Having one home with mom and one home with dad isn’t a problem to them…they adjust. Might there be a trial period, of course, but they will adapt!!

As far as 2 adults not being able to get along so shared parenting won’t work..I say this! Grow up! You chose to have a child with somebody so be adult enough to raise your child with them!! I would resent my mom today if she wouldn’t have allowed me as much time with my father as I wanted! A child having a bond with each parent is so so so important and one parent shouldn’t get in the way of that just because they don’t like their ex!! Shared parenting is definitely the way to go!!

 

p.s.  Dear anonymous person,

Thank you for sharing this uplifting and heart felt story!

 

Anonymous experience shared on Facebook page of Supporters of North Dakota Shared Parenting on 10/30/2014

Facebook page:  https://www.facebook.com/pages/Supporters-of-North-Dakota-Shared-Parenting/207487462781303?fref=nf

Note: Spacing to create paragraphs was added. Sibling replaced gender of sibling referenced.  The words and order of the story are presented as submitted.

 

 

 

 

Who Is Missing?

 

Artwork by a young artist seems to reveal anger, loss and sadness. Two people are crossed out in black. Is this a parent, a sibling or the perhaps the artist? One parent seems to have a squarish face with large eyes and the only character with a mouth.  Does this mean no one else has a voice? Who is the person in red and partly covered with black squiggly lines?  Is this the child? There are many unknowns in this art. Hopefully, someone will realize what the child is trying to say. Someone should be listening to this wee one. 

 

 

 

#521, Who Is Missing?

Who Are You?

 

This artwork speaks to the importance of how parents interact in front of the child. Comments about one parent do impact the child. An important point to share is parental conflict could be handled in private. A parent could make comments on their co-parent to adult friends and relatives. Hopefully, the parents will reach out to their artist and talk about what is happening.  Divorce is between the parents and about the child!

Child pic Who are you lg m