One father shares the heartache of not seeing his son in 5 years!  The tragedy of PAS is that the years are gone.  The time for father-son talks, to share events at school, and sport activities are done.  There is no way to capture the time back.  NO ONE wins with PAS!  A short term “win” will eventually be discovered.  The truth will come out; however, until that point, the years are gone. 

Richie

The length of time, the separation, not hearing his voice, not knowing where he lives, does he think of me at all, if so than what does he think of me…… the list goes on……..

5 years is a long time and counting.

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The Fathers Rights Movement/2-16-15

#221, A Father’s Heartache 

The artists shares “the title is more rough. but it’s just the reality. i’ve seen way too many ppl get hurt and suffer their own or their parents’ divorce (and all that the junk it pulls along with it). heck, it’s become a ‘normal’ thing and you can see it everywhere, everyday. it’s wrong. you’d think ppl would realize that. and i don’t accept lame excuses. it’s cowardly, to think you can outrun your ‘problems’ like that. marriage is a promise, and you can’t back out on that. not with any legal stuff… i’m lucky to see my parents have a great marriage and still living together. however my friends aren’t. i really feel bad for any one having to go through all that. it’s become one of those secret fears you hope you never have to experience.”

Well said!

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Deviant Art: Divorce is Murder by mi2x

Link to artwork: http://www.deviantart.com/art/divorce-is-murder-199212461

#213, Divorce is Murder

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In divorce, sometimes kids become upset with one parent and want to live with the other.

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Link to artwork:http://www.deviantart.com/art/Scania-by-nature-178727479

#208,  Live with Dad

Parent to parent. This mother gives advice to anyone thinking about divorce. She expresses emotional turmoil knowing her daughter will  also experience  the same anxiety this mom experienced during childhood due to parental conflict. This mom acknowledges the difficulty in visiting four sets of grandparents at the holidays. And, grief in knowing her daughter will live in a world of unknowns. Sadly, there is a long list of divorces among her immediate and extended family. Some parents know how the logistics of divorce will impact their child.  Yet, as the parent not wanting the divorce, she is limited. There seems to be nothing she can do to change anything…except advise parents considering divorce.  Thank you for helping, mom!

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To Anyone thinking about divorce,

The divorce was not my idea!

I hate that my daughter will grow up as I did.  Four sets of grandparents to visit at the holidays.  Anxiety at school events because her parents do not get along.

My parents are divorced.  My  brothers and sister are divorced.  Several aunts and uncles are divorced. This is what my daughter has-a family of divorces.

I regret that my daughter has to live in a world of unknowns.

I wish there was something I could do to make this better for my baby.

To all parents out there thinking about divorce.  Don’t do it!

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#206, Unwanted

This unique portrayal of divorce illustrates the emotional aspect of divorce for some parents..  This divorce seems simple in that the dad wants everything  except the children.  Mom is clearly happy with this offer. 

Note: Understandably, in view of the emotional and legal trauma of PAS,  this would be a dream scenario.  The other parent pays $10.00 for the rest of their life (no alimony or child support) and takes everything.  Everything except the children.  

Note:  This is a representation of divorce from one artist.  This is no way supports one parent taking everything or designating the children to one parent.  Nor does this support one gender parent over the other parent.  This is only a depiction of divorce from this artists’ perspective.

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Deviant Art, by MrNintMan.

Link to artwork: http://www.deviantart.com/art/The-Lady-the-Lover-and-the-Burns-The-End-375515599

# 197, Happy Mom

An emotional moment for one father as he shares a poignant yet lonely moment.

Waiting…….. looking forward to the next time he will see his son.  

Looking forward to the next time he will spend time with his baby boy.  

Waiting to be a father to his son! 

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Shared on Fathers That Care, on use 18, 2015.

Link to post: https://www.facebook.com/Father.that.care/photos/pb.1495521817328001.-2207520000.1434696993./1624799461066902/?type=3&theater

Link to FB page: https://www.facebook.com/keith.marsolek?fref=nf

#191, Waiting to Play!

Memorable moments are part of being a family. Moments you wish you could forget are sometimes part of divorce.

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Memorable moments for parents include the details of the day their children were born. For those who divorce, there’s another day—equally vivid, that is much different—that etches into memory: the moment when they tell their children their mother and father are splitting up. This is the day I wish I could forget.  The one day in my life when I wish I was not an adult and not have to face reality.  The reality that I would not put my children to bed each night.  The reality that my most favorite part of the day, bedtime, would now occur only 3-4 nights per week.  All because my husband and I were divorcing.

We read the divorce books on how to tell your children.  Somehow, I knew that no matter what words we used, our 6 year-old son and 5 year-old daughter would never fully understand.  How could they.  I am in my 30’s, an accomplished attorney and my soon to be ex-husband is a highly successful stock broker and we did not understand.  Yet, we were trying to explain to our innocent children how we would all be better off.  That everyone would be happier if mommy and daddy lived in two homes.   I remember sitting down to tell them and thinking this is something that other parents do.  This is not what I wanted for my life.  Not what I wanted for my marriage.  THIS IS NOT WHAT I WANTED FOR MY CHILDREN!  Yet, we still sat down.  As a family.  As we began our well rehearsed speech I knew this would be a memorable moment in their life.  Not memorable in a good way like the fun family days we experienced in their short lives…but a day that will be described as “I remember when mommy and daddy told us they were getting a divorce” day.  A day that would forever change their life, their innocence and probably their security.  We said all the right things.  “Mommy and daddy love you very much.”  “This is NOT YOUR fault.”  “Sometimes mommy and daddy need to be apart to be happy.”  All of our words sounded so empty.  So very cliche.  So not what I wanted for my life.  Definitely not what I wanted for my children!

We used a calendar to show how they would stay with both of us.  That each of them could have friends over when ever they wanted.  I recall saying the words “it will be just like it is now.”  The look on my son’s face was one of confusion.  My daughter cried.    I wanted to say ‘this will not be what we have now’.  Because now, we have one home.  Now, we see each other at night before we go to sleep.  Now, we wake up to each other and have breakfast together.  On weekends by husband makes pancakes.  We go to the park together.  We visit grandma and grandpa on Sunday.  Together.  As a family.  Now, things are going to be totally different.

Now, one parent will not be there at night.  Now, we will have different weekends.  Now, they will have pancakes every other weekend.  Now, we will visit one set of grandparents on Sunday with one parent.  The other set of grandparents with the other parent the next weekend.  Now, things are very different.

Now, is something that we are still trying to adjust to.  Now is a time that includes the memorable moments of before.  Before the divorce.  Before the talk.  Before, now includes the moment that I wish we could all forget.  The unmemorable moment when we told our children we were divorcing.

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#190, Memorable moments

Here is the true sadness of divorce.  

One father expresses discouragement in not seeing his children every day.  

“I always experienced a tremendous feeling of sadness and hurt. I always had a feeling that no matter how hard you were trying and no matter how much time, there’s no way you can turn one or two visits a month into normal parenting. No matter how you cut it, you come up short and you feel it. You always come up a day late and a dollar short. It’s a tremendous sense of hurt. You want a full experience as a father, you want them to feel full love and you want them to feel it continually.”

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As shared in Fatherwork.  

Link to FB Page: http://fatherwork.byu.edu/nonCustodial.htm

#176, Sadness of Divorce

A simple message with lots of love!

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Dear daughter,

You and I deserve better.

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#168, Love, Daddy

A parent who is unable to see their child on a regular basis experiences emotional pain and misses their child!!!!!  Sadly, the child also goes without.  A child has the right to have a relationship with both parents!

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Shared on Letters from Daddy/Mommy.

Link to FB  page: https://www.facebook.com/sendingourlove?fref=ts

#150, Hide My Tears