Rather Than…

October 25, 2015 By in All Confessions

Excellent advice!   Research shows that a child exposed to parental conflict is MORE likely to experience social and academic problems. They are MORE likely to have physical health issues and mental healthy issues including depression and anxiety disorders.   Shielding the child from parental conflict during the divorce is a WIN for everyone. Divorce is between the parents-ABOUT THE CHILD!

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Rather than looking at the family after 10 years post divorce and asking “what is there”- let’s look at the family and see what is not there. Kids not in trouble.  Kids not experiencing problems in school or hanging in out with the wrong crowds.  This is all because their parents were united and  had a friendly divorce.

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# 326, Rather Than…

Family Fight

October 25, 2015 By in All Confessions, Artwork from Child

 

This is what one artist remembers about childhood!  The artwork shows how parents  are fighting while the child watches from the balcony in their home.  The child looks scared and is frowning, holding tight to the balustrade while observing the two people they love the most FIGHTING!  A striking feature is the appearance of red marks, blood perhaps? Maybe the parents could fight in private. Will anyone notice this child? 

Deviant Art chinelle family_fight_by_avidlebon

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Deviant Art, Family Fight

Link to artwork: http://www.deviantart.com/art/Chinelle-Family-Fight-153997945

#325, Family Fight

How I Was Affected

October 22, 2015 By in Adult Children of Divorce, All Confessions

 

An adult child of divorce offers advice to parents divorcing. He shares the need for children to receive emotional support in a parental divorce.  As a college student, he describes being put in the middle of arguments and adult matters. How confusing this must have been to him as a child. Adding to the confusion, his parents continue to put their now-adult child in the middle. Parental divorce is difficult enough and putting a child in the position of a tun-of-war game unfair and unnecessary.  

 

How I was affected

My name is Mike. I am an 18 year old freshman in college at the University of Texas. I was born and raised in New York. My parents got divorced when I was nine years old and my mom won custody of me and my younger brother. I was scared of my mom and, as a result, she was able to use me as a pawn against my father. My parent’s divorce went on for another ten years and I was primary source of communication between the two for the entirety of it. Although they have been divorced for a few years now, they are still fighting to this day, which upsets me. They try to involve me but I repudiate by telling them both that I cannot be involved in their disagreements anymore because their issues have corrupted my childhood. For all you parents out there, please make sure you do not involve your children in such a terrible process. It is not their job to know when their father is late on child support or how terrible of a person their mother or father may be. I wish I had other children to speak to during my parents divorce. I am hoping this forum (Divorce Force) will connect children in need of support with people that can act as an consiglieres during their parents’ divorce process.

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Divorce Force

#323, How I Was Affected

The Dance of Divorce

October 13, 2015 By in All Confessions, Artwork About Child

 

Is this a perfect depiction of divorce for some children!  A child is standing in the center.  Each parent and a sibling are going in opposite directions. Is he trying to decide  who do I choose? Mommy or daddy? Which sibling? Notably, everyone seems to be walking away.   This child appears in the spotlight-yet, no one is paying attention. How many children are left to fend for themselves because everyone is dealing with their own emotions?  A realistic, albeit, somber portrayal of divorce.

Deviant Art The dance of divorce m

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Deviant Art, The Dance of Divorce

#322, The Dance of Divorce

Best Security Blanket

October 3, 2015 By in All Confessions

 

How true!  The best gift a parent can give their child is to have parents who love and respect each other.  Perfectly said!

What a great opportunity TPKF m

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Time to Put Kids First, TPKF

Link to TPKF Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/timetoputkidsfirst?fref=ts

#321, Best Security Blanket

Worst Thing

October 3, 2015 By in All Confessions

 

This parent shares their thoughts on divorce and the impact of divorce on their child.  She recognizes how divorce has changed her daughter.  Their family unit has been altered by divorce and the parental conflict during and following the divorce.

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Divorce is the worst thing that can happen to a child.  Parental divorce can be a life changer for children when the post divorce relationship is painfully different from the pre divorce relationship. After battling in family court for 12 years,  I have seen what this  has done to my daughter.  It has placed a big wall up in her life. Each day there is the task to   help her understand it all.   I would give anything to spare my daughter from the grief that my divorce has caused her.

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#320, Worst Thing

Fault Line in the Family

October 1, 2015 By in All Confessions

 

One parent shares the reality of divorce!  When there is parental conflict the child suffers!  When parents are unable to maintain a cordial relationship, the child goes without.  The reality is that when parents expose their kids to a lot of mudslinging and bad behavior, the child suffers.

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Divorce causes a fault line in families. I have had the misfortune to witness it twice at close range although my parents have never divorced and I have never married!

My current partner and my ex were both married with kids. The sad thing in both cases is the mothers wanted the kids to side with them and used them as pawns which damaged them irreparably. Things were never the same and never healed.

Kids are lied to, manipulated and led to believe their fathers are the worst thing on this earth which is not the case!

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#318, Fault line in the Family

Imaginary Friend Request

October 1, 2015 By in All Confessions, Parental Experiences

 

Imaginary friend request via social media.  The message here is what “Devin” was experiencing during his parents divorce.  Sadly, his experience is a  common theme for many children and adolescents when their parents divorce.  

Deviant art imaginary_friend_request_by_schizmatic-d99rtez

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# 317 , Imaginary Friend Request

Not Their Fault

September 30, 2015 By in All Confessions

 

This parent shares the reality of divorce!  THE IMPACT ON THE CHILD!!!!!  Sadly, children are the innocent victims of divorce.  They have no voice in the divorce.  They have no opinion on how to handle the logistics of daily living.  They are subject to the decisions and actions of their parents.  This is why Shared Parenting is so important.  

Divorce is between the parents-  ABOUT THE CHILD!!!

LOVE WINS!!!   LOVE WINS!!!   LOVE WINS!!!   LOVE WINS!!!   LOVE WINS!!! 

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Children should be the number one reason not to get divorced! The effects that is has on them can be life altering. It’s not their fault that mommy and daddy are too immature to make a marriage work.

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#316, Not Their Fault

 

Stop Fighting

September 23, 2015 By in All Confessions, Artwork from Child, Impact on Child

 

Understandably, parental conflict may be upsetting to children and adolescents.  This artist portrays this young girl as being in emotional pain while listening to her parents fight.  Striving for an amicable relationship with your co-parent is a huge gift to offer your child.  

Parents are a child’s first and most important teacher.  A child learns about relationships by watching their parents! What is this child learning about communicating with family members?

Deviant Ar Eyes dlfamily_portrait_by_gray_wolf_eyes

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Deviant Art, Family Portrait by gray-wolf-eyes

314, Stop Fighting

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