Family Values

 

A captivating poem on the dynamics within the context of a family separating.  This artist shares the emotional aspects of being a member of a family of divorce. Even more intriguing, she conveys feelings of love and loss and the parent-child bond.  The last two lines describe the significance of the separation process.  An outstanding presentation to the impact of divorce on family and society.

Acidic words burn like fire, as angry yells shatter and tear
Children hide in a corner with fear, clutching a tattered teddy bear
No alcohol or drugs flow in this house; bitter substances aren’t the poison here
Only the lack of love and personal caring, are the causes of these endless salty tears
A value can not be placed upon love, nor the loss measured when there’s none
The damage here is impossible to calculate, because a father doesn’t love his only son
To many mothers a daughter brings joy, but here the two can’t share a smile
Two siblings wage war upon each other, while their parents await a divorce court trial
Twenty years ago, this would seem dramatic, now the situation goes on next door
The degrading of the global family unit is so common people don’t see it anymore.
#462, Family Values
Poem: l-piroko-l Deviant Art 
Artwork: Dragon Queen, l-piroko-l Deviant Art 

Dear Daddy,

 

An endearing letter from a loving child. Someone had a great summer with dad. How sweet they mention the unicorns and aliens seemingly, special memories for both child and dad. One thing is for sure: babies sure do love their daddy’s.

Shared by The Washington Father’s Rights Movement,

#461, Dear Daddy,

Shared by The Washington Father’s Rights Movement, FB https://www.facebook.com/TFRMWA/

Big Burden for a Little Girl

 

Children are at the mercy of their caregivers/parents.  This is a heart wrenching experience of an innocent child who is the victim of severe emotional abuse. Even more distressing, she accepts responsibility for the manipulation and lies told by her mother and telling lies about her father. Given the mother has mental health issues, owns a gun and leaves the child alone; somehow the basic needs of the child have been seriously overlooked and this could have been fatalistic.  Coping with emotional abuse and betrayal are large obstacles for a little girl.  I hope this child overcomes the guilt she is seemingly burdened with because of her mothers’ irresponsible parenting. Unfortunately, future relationships for this child may be impacted. Shame on this mother; and to anyone participating in the demise of this child’s emotional and physical security.  

 

A heartbreaking story shared by FB page,The Oregon Father’s Rights Movement:

Here’s my story…
When my step daughter was 3 she starting living with me and my husband and so did her mother. We help her mother get an apartment and moved in. Bm. Didn’t care what happened with her child couldn’t be bothered to see her. If she picked her up.from school she would talk her to grandparents and only seeing her for the commute. Three years ago. MB. Reported child being molested by my son. Which was fault (BM always stated that since she slept with her step brother when she was 12 and charged him with rape it would also happen to hers) after a length investigation it was found it never happened. But she got the little girl to tell everyone that she hated me and her dad and never wanted to see us. So after we started reunification with the child it’s found out that BM who has mental history owns a gun and leave child home alone. And lots more. Sadly to say child text BM to tell her she loved her and BM has not responded three days later. Child has been working on summer education with us and this one of the things she wrote

Reunifcation wants us to fight to get her Monday thru Friday and every other weekend and calls BM volatile. Child just wants to be HAPPY. Keep in mind that we got the child into cheerleading and paid for it. Also sent her to camp for 2 weeks and paid for it. BM get a monthly check from social security. As bf is disabled. Mom has a job and goes to school (career college).

#460, Big Burden for a Little Girl

As shared on The Oregon Father’s Rights Movement: FB https://www.facebook.com/TFRMOR/

Happy/Unhappy Father

 

A compelling pic. Father appears happy on the outside yet seems to hold feelings of sadness within his head and heart. A teddy bear is close by. Is this father yearning to hug his child? Talk with his child? Have a parent-child relationship as they did before the divorce/separation. How many parents will relate to this? Presenting as a happy self when in actuality they are sad; trying to go through the days when their heart is broken in a million pieces because they are unable to enjoy a loving relationship with their child. The black and white presentation contributes to the overall impact of this powerful pic.

 

#459, Unhappy Father 

Shared from Manchester’s Loving Parents/GrandParents Rights

Link to FB page: https://www.facebook.com/Manchesters-Loving-ParentsGrandparents-Rights-1526045064373344/

 

 

Split Family

 

 

This artist shares a common them in divorce.  The obvious message is how everything changes in divorce. Artist states: “One nasty divorce later, and the identical twins are wishing their parents were totally different. Because they love each other! But now they have different last names, homes, and parental units. Together and apart at the same time!”

 

Deviant Art Split Family fred_and_family__2039_by_unsinkable_spirit

 

#459, Split Family

Deviant Art Split Family y unsinkable-spirit

Someone More Perfect

 

 

This talented artist creates a scene. Someone is asking “How is the baby?!” “And the divorce, everything going well?”… “How is Spac reacting to all this?”………. Looks like the baby is not doing so well.  He seems very sad. Eyes have a double row of tears. The lost and forlorn look on his face is very evident.  Sometimes, children need extra care and attention in the midst of a divorce. Seemingly, this child is somewhat forgotten. Excellent presentation of a child’s experience in divorce.

http://rainbowswetiie,deviantart.com/art/someone-more-perfect-683749422

Someone more perfect by RainbowSwetiie, Deviant Art

#458,  Someone More Perfect

Why Shared Parenting is Best

 

This mom outlines why shared parenting is best for her boys. Explaining her logic in a way many parents may relate. Thankfully for this family, Family Court in her state insisted on equal parenting. Imagine, if she proceeded with her plan.  What would her boys have missed out on? How would this fathers’ life have been impacted without having an open relationship and supportive co-parent?

I did not plan to get divorced. I did not plan to share legal and physical custody of my four children. In fact, in the early days of our divorce, I strongly believed that my then-husband should not evenly share parenting and decision making power with me.

I was wrong. Fortunately, our home state, Wisconsin, has a legal presumption toward shared parenting. Since the year 2000, Wisconsin courts have been legally required to presume joint legal custody  — which gives both parents equal rights to make decisions regarding their children — as in the best interests of the children. Wisconsin family courts are also required to “set a placement schedule that allows the child to have regularly occurring, meaningful periods of physical placement with each parent…that maximizes the amount of time the child may spend with each parent.”

 At the time of our divorce, that presumption didn’t seem fair to me. After all, up until the point of our divorce, I’d been the parent to schedule and take the children to all of their doctor’s appointments. I’d been the parent who researched education, health and parenting information, and the parent who spent the bulk of her time performing childcare. Why should I, the clearly involved parent, be forced share time and decision making power with a man who couldn’t be bothered to be involved when we were married?

That’s what I thought at the time. It’s perhaps obvious, but important to note, that I was hurt, angry and bitter at that point in my life. I never wanted to be a divorced parent, never wanted to “share” my children. I wanted my life to continue as it had been. I wanted my kids’ lives to continue without more disruption than absolutely necessary.

And — full disclosure — I’ll admit that I thought I was the better parent. I knew the boys’ father would continue to be a necessary part of their lives, but in my mind, at that time, he was a necessary but unpleasant obstacle. At times, I wished he’d go away all together.

That was more than five years ago. Since then, our boys have begun their trips through puberty. Since then, I’ve learned more about the role of fathers and the importance of males to adolescent male development. I’ve seen my sons’ need for their father and my point of view has changed. My boys’ dad is not an unpleasant obstacle; he’s an integral part of their lives. My boys are doing well today in large part because their dad is an active part of their lives.

Our was not an amicable divorce. We were upset with one another and we had some pretty serious disagreements about what was in the best interests of our children. There were times — plenty of times! — I wished I had sole legal custody so I could do what was “best” for our children.

I’ve come to realize, though, that it’s best for kids to spend plenty of time with both mom and dad. It’s best if both parents are very involved in day-to-day parenting, and it’s best to put the needs of the kids ahead of the parents’ needs or desires.

I thank the Wisconsin court system for presuming that shared parenting is in the best interest of children, because without that presumption, I’m pretty sure I would have happily assumed the larger portion of parenting and relegated the boys’ dad to a lesser role. And that, I now know, would have been bad for my boys, bad for their dad and bad for me.

Yet shared parenting post-divorce is not the norm in most states.

Here’s what I think: Emotional and physical violence should always been taken seriously, and measures should be put in place to protect children and ex-spouses from violence, threats and intimidation. Everyone who works in the family court system should be required to learn about domestic violence, and should have to document their understanding of the issue. Children should not have to spend time with abusive parents, and ex-spouses should not be required to work with an abusive ex.

Shared parenting bills for equal parenting give judges and families plenty of leeway to create parenting plans that are sensitive to families’ needs. No one is suggesting that children be sent to live with an abuser; the bills contain clauses to restrict parents’ involvement in case of domestic violence, incarceration or even “a pattern of willfully creating conflict.”

Bills now make it easier for children of divorced parents to have access to both parents — something that’s been shown, over and over again, to be good for kids and good for society.

The truth is that divorcing parents don’t always make decisions according to their kids’ best interest. Anger and jealousy and fear often cloud their thinking and color their decisions. In my case, it was the court’s insistence on shared parenting that led to the co-parenting arrangement we have today, and I am so, so glad.

Excerpt from: https://buildingboys.net/is-shared-parenting-best-for-boys-after-divorce/

#456, Why I Decided Shared Parenting is Best