.From the Mouths of Babes

.

.

Dear Judge,

From the mouths of babes! “Dear Judge” letters written by children (typos and all). This is what the child is thinking and experiencing in their parents’ divorce. How sad, these children took the time to write a letter to the judge-hoping to make a difference in their life.  Children are the innocent victims in divorce.

Do you see your child in any of these letters?

What do you do when you are a child and your heart is breaking? You go to the biggest, strongest people you know. You go to the people you have always counted on. You go to your parents. What do you do when your parents tell you there is nothing they can do to help you? What do you do when they say they don’t get to decide where you live or which one of them you get to kiss good night? Well, these children went straight to the Judge with their hopes, questions and fears. –

Dear Judge,
I sure hope you know what you are doing cause none of us do.
~ Jordan

Dear Judge,
ttell the home study estimatr that we do not realy live in the nice house she came to. we live at the crumy one. my step mothr made a del with the ladie next dor and we move there fore one day. 

i want you to tell her to come to my real hous cause i hate my step mothr that is why. cause my stomich fels upset cause she tels my real mom i am not here when she cals. 
my dad said she is a ok guy but she is not. he does not like her very much eathr. she play acts that she likes me but when dad is away she stops actin. 

pleasee help me get to live with my mom and new sistr. thank you vere munch,
~ emile e.

Dear Judge,
This summer we went to our bio-moms house for 6 weeks of out of state visitation. It was cool during the first week or so. Mom started asking questions about our friends and school. We told her about what we thought about the dress code, curfew and separating us into different home rooms at school because they think twins need to learn independence from each other. She said we were out of control, disrespectful of authority and needed more discipline. We tried to explain that we get good grades, follow the rules even if we don’t like them and we never get in trouble. 

The really bad arguments with her went on for almost two weeks. It wasn’t until Daddy called to see how things were going that mom finally calmed down. Daddy told mom that we were good girls, and get very good grades, act just like our friends and that we were normal. The next day she started to take more of her nerve pills and blame us for things we didn’t do. Mom bought us some strange bibles and we had to study them at the kitchen table from right after breakfast until lunch time every day. It didn’t go so well after that. Mom acts different from the other adults we know and doesn’t have any friends. We think that means that something is wrong.

When we I got home, we told Daddy about what had happened, how mom said that Daddy was brain washing us and that we were headed down the wrong path in life, which we are not. It is very uncomfortable being with her. The bible in this package is from mom. After you look at it please send it back. She will think I threw it away if I don’t have it the next time. Mom wants to see our bibles in our school pictures so she knows we are studying each day.

We don’t want to go back to her house anymore, but it is your court law for us to go. Can you have her come here for visitation?
~ Tracy and Lacy A.

Dear Judge,
plez com to my hows an talk to my parnts. we will all get drest nice an wrk hard to be good. i wont a hapie famble agn
~ yur frnd, Jamie L.

Dear Judge,
You are lucky to be the boss of the court. I don’t even get to be the boss of my bedroom because I have to share it with my big brother Lewis.

When he is meen to me I call him old stinke head so he can not here me.

If you can think of a way for me to be the boss of my room pleas send me a letter.

~ Sincerly,
Raymond O.
Don’t tell Lewis I sent this letter.

Dear Judge,
In a perfect world my parents wouldn’t be divorced. In a perfect world my parents could forget themselves and focus on me sometimes. In a perfect world I could share my happy thoughts with all the people I love. In a perfect world you wouldn’t have become the real parent in our family to make my parents act like adults. In a perfect world I could talk to my parents instead of writing to you.

In hopes for a perfect world,
~ Natasha N. 

.

http://www.divorcemag.com/articles/dear-judge-childrens-letters-to-the-judge#sthash.VukDIwDe.dpuf

#330, Dear Judge

.

.

.

.

.

I Love You!

A touching note from daughter to daddy.

 

I love you zoe m

.

.

#220, I Love you!

.

.

.

.

.

Heartbreaking Questions Kids Ask About Divorce

“There are few parenting moments more difficult than having to answer your kids’ questions about the divorce.

No matter how much you prepared yourself for their inevitable confusion, those moments still manage to catch you off guard. How are you supposed to help them wrap their heads around life after divorce when you’re still struggling to get a handle on it yourself?”

Here are the questions kids asked:

.

1. “I just want you and daddy to be in the same house. Can’t you just be roommates? For me?”

2. “When I told my 6-year-old son about the split, he said, ‘Does this mean we’ll be daddy-less kids?’ Now that hurt.”

3. “My 10-year-old son Michael asked, ‘Will this home always be here for us?'”

4. “Will your new wife be our aunt, or what? ‘Cause we already have a mom.”

5. “At age five, my child asked, ‘When does your heart tell your brain — or your brain tell your heart — you’re not in love anymore?'”

6. “‘Why did daddy break his promise to us?‘ He had promised to find a place to live close to us… then he moved to another city.”

7. “What will happen when I get married and you two can’t even be in the same room together at my wedding?”

8. “Why can’t daddy’s girlfriend just live here, too?”

9. “‘How come you don’t spend the night anymore?’ and later, ‘How come you and mommy didn’t get along?'”

10. “Why didn’t you leave dad a long time ago?”

11. “‘Why doesn’t daddy love us anymore?’ They haven’t seen him in one and a half years.”

12. “Why don’t you and daddy just stay together and work it out? You are supposed to be a team and a team works together, right?”

13. “Is it my fault?

.

Huffington Post Article.  13 Utterly Heartbreaking Questions Kids Ask About Divorce

Link to article: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/06/17/kids-and-divorce_n_5503935.html?utm_hp_ref=children-of-divorce

#265, Heartbreaking Questions Kids Ask About Divorce

.

.

.

.

.

Emotional Trauma

Do you wonder what kids really think about their parents’ divorce?Here are the answers to the question:  “how long does the emotional trauma of divorce last”.

.

“You never get over it.”    Fifteen years after parents’  divorce

“I still haven’t.”    Twelve years after parents’  divorce

“It’s been four years but I’m still not over it.”

“It took me about seve years to really get over it.”

“I wasn’t upset at the time.  About a year later it hit and lasted for a year.”

“A few years of therapy.”

“I still haunt gotten over it.  I may never.”   Ten years after parents’  divorce

“Not long.  My dad was pretty mean.”

.

Divorceandkids.com  

http://www.divorceandkids.com/Kids%20Quotes-Drawings/kids_quotes.htm#HOW%20LONG%20DOES%20THE%20EMOTIONAL%20TRAUMA%20LAST?

#205, Emotional Trauma

.

.

.

.

.

Wants to Love Both Parents

A child loves both parents!!!!!

Divorce is between the parents-ABOUT THE CHILD!!!!

LOVE WINS!!!   LOVE WINS!!!   LOVE WINS!!!   LOVE WINS!!!

.

“Dad couldn’t really be as bad as Mom says he is.”   (9-year-old girl)

“I don’t care who I live with. I love you both. Please don’t make me choose–just tell me.”   (9-year-old boy)

.

Divorceandkids.com

http://www.divorceandkids.com/Kids%20Quotes-Drawings/kids_quotes.htm#FEELING%20TORN%20BETWEEN%20PARENTS

#204, Wants to Love Both Parents

.

.

.

.

.

Bargaining

Divorce!!!!

This seven-year-old girl does not fully understand what is happening to her family.  She bargains to keep her parents together.

.

“If I go live with grandma can you and dad stay married?”

.

Divorceandkids.com http://www.divorceandkids.com/Kids%20Quotes-Drawings/kids_quotes.htm#BARGAINING

#203, Bargaining

.

.

.

.

.

Chocolate Chip Cookies Will Bring Dad Back

Divorce is an adult concept!  

A child makes a heartfelt effort to put the family back together. Unfortunately, all the chocolate chip cookies in the world cannot stop some parents from divorcing.  

“I’ll promise to make dad chocolate chip cookies every week. They’re his favorite. He’ll come back then.”

.

.

Divorceandkids.com  http://www.divorceandkids.com/Kids%20Quotes-Drawings/kids_quotes.htm#BARGAINING

#202, Chocolate Chip Cookies Will Bring Dad Back

.

.

.

.

.

Lonely

Divorce destroys a family!

This is how one adult child of divorce describes his life.

.

“We’re half a family now–lonely.”

.

Divorceandkids.com http://www.divorceandkids.com/Kids%20Quotes-Drawings/kids_quotes.htm#LONELINESS

#201, Lonely

.

.

.

.

.

.

 

 

I Love You Daddy

Four simple words!  Are the red and green lights indicating a stop and go relationship?  That sometimes loving daddy is ok and sometimes showing love for daddy is not ok?

Child art I love you daddy m

Link:  http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/51/05/65/510565edf47668fed0c5cfe5d4eb3c0e.jpg

#160, I Love You Daddy!

.

.

.

.

.

From the Mouths of Babes!

Here is what children are saying about divorce!  This is compilation of some of the quotes from several videos.  Links to all videos are shared.

Some of these comments are absolutely heart wrenching illuminating the fact the the most innocent victim of divorce is…THE CHILD!

.

Link to videohttps://youtu.be/3iPkHdYLuuA

“Sometimes people talk about what their moms or dads are doing this weekend.’ 2:16 mark

“Saw my dad 3 or 4 times per year.” !!!!! 3:17 mark

“I don’t’ trust father figures and I disrespect adults beause I don’t think I can trust any adults.” 3:31

Link to video: https://youtu.be/ONnqACB-FeM

“my biggest concern is that all five of us will start getting more and more unhappy.” (a big burden for a 9 year old)

“Sometimes I feel like I caused the divorce.” (a common response)

“Sometimes its hard when theyre both fighting and theyre both really mad.” (research consistently shows that parental conflict causes long-term issues)

.

.

#141, From the Mouthes of Babes!

.

.

.

.

.

Question From a Fatherless Boy

Excellent question!  This boy poses this question to his Father Mentor.  A program that pairs a boy without a father figure in his life with a father mentor.   

“If my parents loved each other enough to get married and make a baby….. why did they fight so much and break our family apart ? It makes no sense to me.”

.

Fathers in the Field, March 11, 2015

Link to FB page: https://www.facebook.com/fathersinthefield?fref=ts

#93, A Fatherless Boys Question

.

.

.

.

.

Statement from a Fatherless Boy

A profound statement!  This comes from a boy who is in a father mentoring program because his real father is not in his life.  

“Now they say home is where the hate is”.

.

Fathers in the Field, March 24, 2015.

Link to FB page: https://www.facebook.com/fathersinthefield?fref=ts

#92, Statement from a Fatherless Boy

.

.

.

.

.

Positive Outlook

This young artist kept a positive attitude about the divorce.  In writing this letter to mom and dad this child conveys the sweet message  of acceptance and understanding about the divorce.   

Positive outlook letter m

Drawings from KID’S FIRST PROGRAM

“Positive Outlook”, appeared in the Honolulu Star-Bulletin Hawaii News, August 26, 2001,  by Debra Barayuga

dbarayuga@starbulletin.comarchives.starbulletin.com/2001/08/26/news/story2.html

http://archives.starbulletin.com/2001/08/26/news/story2.html

#71, Positive Outlook

.

.

.

.