~Family Court.

I Am A Father  (comments)

When the post “I Am A Father” was shared on FB page “Supporters of South Dakota Shared Parenting” in May 2015,  several supporters responded. 

These are deserving of attention and are shared on Shared Parenting Confessional as a separate post.

COMMENT: Just because you divorce the wife you don’t divorce the children.

COMMENT: What leads up to divorce and the divorce hurts the children beyond measure with a deep and painful wound, even in the best of divorce circumstances.

COMMENT: Back in the day, when couples had problems, the community came to help the family work out their problems. Now that the government and courts are involved all they want is to separate the family, have one parent be broke from not having any income because they stay at home with the kids while the other parent goes broke paying for another place to live, transportation cost for two houses. And let’s not forget all of the lawyers fees and court fees so in the end of all of the bs the child has been put through so much that we think that the child will grow to be a upstanding citizen? Reality check, we are looking to TV to raise our kids and the web to teach them. When all we have to do is be there for our brothers and sisters to listen and help families, not the lawyers and social workers.

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Response comments to post “I Am A Father” shared in previous post.

Link to FB page Supporters for Shared Parenting South Dakota:

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Supporters-of-South-Dakota-Shared-Parenting/179297318844749?fref=ts

 

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I Am A Father

In the world of divorce, some fathers are categorized in a negative fashion.  This father shares his thoughts on the relationship with his daughter before and after her birth.  Fatherly pride is ever present.   The one thing that stands out is that this daddy loves his baby! 

This fathers experience with the family court system is, sadly, not atypical.  

Importantly, at the end of the post there are quotes from several professionals that seem to place emphasis on the injustice of the court system that often fails to protect the very beings they are designed to protect-THE FAMILY UNIT and THE CHILD!

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I am a father.

Not a deadbeat, not a coward, not a man that runs away from being a father, or a deserter of my own flesh and blood. Not a sperm donor or a court appointed ATM, but a Father in the purest form of the word. And while choosy “Moms choose Jif”, I sit, at 3:05 am holding the hot hands of a sick 7 year old princess. But that’s my job.

Because I am a father.

I would speak to my daughter while she was in utero. She would respond with little kicks and from the womb.. we interacted, and hadn’t even seen each other yet. When you immediately accept that, even before your child takes its first breath, you are already a Father you immediately begin to bond with your child.

The Family Law court system as a whole, and it’s Judges destroy the lives of children and in turn entire families by violating a Father’s right to Due process and equal protection under the law. But we’ve known that for decades. Anyone that thinks or believes that there is Due process for fathers in the Family Law Court system should be placed in a padded room and heavily sedated.

Why is it ok for Fathers to miss their children? Why is it ok for a Father to be sick and wrapped in worry? Why is it permissible for “Non Custodial” parents to start legal proceedings at an immediate disadvantage? Why is there no legislation in place to safeguard Fathers that are being swept in amid the men that make us all look bad?

We are judged before the first hearing.

It physically hurts on days I don’t have my daughter with me. “Depression hurts” as the commercial for anti-depressants says right? Ask yourself, what parent wouldn’t be stressed sleepless concerned about their child? Therefore forcing time away from a parent and child would reasonably cause a great deal of stress and worry.. to truly say the least.

But the Family Law Court its Judges, are far from reasonable.

Now, just imagine that you’re sitting at your desk at work, and two armed Sheriffs approach the receptionist’s desk, then your intercom buzzes, and you are then summoned to the front desk. The Sheriff asks you for your name, And then politely informs you that you have been served with child support papers…and that’s just the beginning.

Keep in mind that you are the same father that went through the entire pregnancy, CPR classes, ultrasounds, the Birth ya know, Dad stuff. For the record, ( a sidebar really, ) Any man that has stood side by side, each day and night for nine months with a hormonal, morning noon and night vomiting, habitual mood swinger knows that Fathers don’t exactly have it easy during a nine month pregnancy either. whether you are an amazing Father, or a deadbeat looser, Family Law Court will filter your life through Hell all the same.

I am a Father.

With no criminal record, never been arrested, no history of violence, domestic or other.. At what point did I ask to be Non-Custodial. There is nothing “Non-Custodial” about me.

I have never needed a court order to care for my Daughter.

Since when have I not been a Father?

I clinch my fist and grit my teeth while, the very system set in place to protect our families Not only fatally fails, but spits in my face and violates my rights.

Quotes:

“There is no system ever devised by mankind that is guaranteed to rip husband and wife or father, mother and child apart so bitterly than our present Family Court System.”

-Judge Brian Lindsay Retired Supreme Court Judge, New York, New York

What Social Services is good at is removing “Power” from people.

When this is accomplished, then there go choices.              

  -Mr. _____

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Shared on Supporters of South Dakota Shared Parenting on April 20, 2014.

Link to FB page for Supporters of South Dakota Shared Parenting:

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Supporters-of-South-Dakota-Shared-Parenting/179297318844749?fref=ts

#139, I Am A Father

 

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Divorce Kids

This seems to represent a major contention in divorce.  Child support and money.! Notably, Shared Parenting laws would reduce this aspect making custody issues more about the child rather than child support.   Which is clearly in the best interest of the child!

Deviant art child money i 2015-06-06 at 11.37.13 AM

 

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Deviant Art, Divorce Kids by Astranomical 

Link to artwork: http://www.deviantart.com/art/Divorce-Kids-125798908

#158, Divorce Kids

 

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Do the Judges Know?

The utter travesty of the Family Court System lives on deep into the night …..

Do judges know what it is like to cry yourself to sleep every night because your child is not there, do they know what is like to wake up every morning in tears cause your child is not there, do they know what it’s like to fall into tears when flipping through a channel and seeing his favorite show on, do they know what it’s like sitting alone and the only sensation you can feel is the smell and hear the innocent voice of your child that was unconstitutionaly taken away by a corrupt system and a lying mother? My answer and best guess is NO!

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#143, Do the Judges Know?

 

 

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All is Well

A touching pic.  The words capture the mind of the parent who has struggled with issues of PAS.  Most parents want to the ability to parent their child.  As this pic shows, “All is well when all ends well!”

So dad tell me m

 

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Shared from A Parental Right’s Movement Florida.

Link to FB page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/A-Parental-Rights-Movement-Florida/854363531255868?fref=ts

#220, All is Well

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Reminder Re: Child Support

Child support is a major part of divorce and custody agreements.  The purpose of child support is to help provide the same life-style your child experienced before the divorce. Sometime, a reminder is needed……as indicated by this father.

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Anonymous,

Look You’re not spending money to essentially pay for visitation.

You’re paying money to help the mother raise the life you helped to create.

That’s why it’s called child support.

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The Fathers’ Rights Movement

#117, Reminder re: Child Support

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Trouble

A rather scary depiction of divorce.  Large piercing eyes.  Numerous pieces of legal documents.  The child running away…..

Children experience problems with their parents’ legal issues.

Divorce art trouble DL_by_mirelai

 

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Deviant Art, Trouble by mirelai.

Link to artwork: http://www.deviantart.com/art/Trouble-115612595

# 187, Trouble

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Destroyed by My Ex

This father shares a harrowing account of his experience with divorce and the Family Court system.  Seemingly, he is destroyed emotionally, professionally, spiritually.  This father has been stripped of the dignity in being a parent, a professional and a member of society.  The responsibility he demonstrates is abused and unnoticed.  THIS is the impact of decisions in the Family Court room.  

Family Court reform is a MUST!   

The presumption of 50-50 custody is needed.   

False allegations with no repercussions is a major problem.  

Go to: http://www.RateMYFamilyCourt.com

One father’s experience:

I was married for several years. She had children and we had children together.

I came home from a biz trip. My ex was high and attacked me. This was not the first time she got violent with me. She told the police I was the aggressor, of course they believed her, so I ended up in jail.

It didn’t matter that I have statements from private care-givers and teachers, or a GAL report suggesting that mother should have supervised visits.

She is better at lying then I am at telling the truth-which makes it virtually impossible for me to get full custody of my kids. Unless, of course, I spend more money that I do not have (anymore). She has alienated my step children from me-kids who I loved as if they were my own for years.

So many family vacations,& father/son type trips and now I have zero contact with them. I was forced to pay her Atty, my Atty, GAL. I pay thousands of dollars each month in alimony, CS, and half of all child related expenses. I pay all medical, dental and summer camps. I am asked (extorted) to pay for other random expenses. God help me if I don’t.

My children are told not to listen to me, that I am a bad man, a loser, I do illegal things, I’m dumb, stupid, effin crazy, that I’m gay etc etc.

My kids are told I don’t want to see them when they are with her, or that I am keeping them from there mom when she decides to “allow” me to keep the kids for the summer. She never contacts the kids when with me and blocks me from contacting my kids when they are with her.

My kids are not allowed to tell daddy anything that goes on at mommy’s house. My kids are not allowed to call me, she even told the school not to call me.

I am now known as the wife abusing, drug addicted dead beat husband which has me so comfortable living in the community and my children’s teachers have started to ignore me and/or my requests.

I was accomplished and just started to reap some of the rewards for my many years of very hard work, all of which I had done before getting married.

Before marriage I had my pictures in major newspapers. Now, since that fateful day my mug-shot is online for anyone to see.

During my time with my ex I paid either to her, or for her, over a million dollars.   I have lost my savings.   What’s worse is that I am without the drive I once had. I suffer, I have an amputated spirit and my character has been assassinated.

How does one recover after losing awesome step-children and 1 of my own children? She even tried to take the dog.

Seeing my children slowly turn against me is extremely painful. Watching my children lie to my face is like a dagger thru the heart. I struggle daily at the thought of having to live in this tangled web of BS lies & deceit as I trudge my way thru the family court system as a single dad, which, is biased against fathers to say the least. It’s a nightmare of such epic proportions and way beyond my comprehension. It keeps me in such a deep depression that it’s hard to breath. I can go five days without even getting out of bed. My children have but one childhood and theirs is a crappy one.

Wish I knew what I did to deserve this.

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#341, Destroyed by My Ex

Would you like to have a voice in the Family Court system? We want to know more about your child custody/child support issues.

Go to: www.RateMYFamilyCourt.com

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A Plea for Help

An 11-year-old is able to summarize what many courts have not. Thankfully, this judge was astute enough to see this child’s plea for help! Truly, a case of the parents putting their anger and hatred before the needs of the child.  

She has witnessed countless bitter rows between her warring parents, including an incident at her primary school assembly that led to police being called. Her mother, a health worker, admits she has an alcohol abuse problem and her behaviour towards her former husband and his new wife has been ”appalling”.

Her parents can barely speak to each other. Tempers flared when her father took her on an overseas trip without telling her mother.

But when she wrote a school project about a child trapped in a vicious custody battle, a Family Court judge heard a cry for help.

”This has got to stop,” the 11-year-old known as ”T” wrote in a childish cursive script. ”Not in a few years. Not when people can finally be [bothered] to do it. It needs to be done NOW!”

In four sentences, the student traced the despair of thousands of children dragged into messy familial dramas in the courts – and their struggle to be heard above the fray.

”The heading of the writing … said that in the Family Court, children should have a say,” Justice Paul Cronin said in a judgment published last week.

”She said the court got to choose the residence of a child or what the child did, and she rhetorically asked whether that was fair. She said that children should have a day to go into the court and speak up.

”In a pointed remark, the child wrote that adults buy and build houses and children should at least get an opportunity to decide where they lived and with whom they wanted to live.”

Since 2006, the Family Court has been required to take into account any views expressed by the child when making parenting orders. In the vast majority of cases, their views are filtered through a lawyer, psychologist or a family consultant, who is an officer of the court.

T’s writing project, in a school exercise book, was brought to the court’s attention by one of the psychologists who gave evidence. The child, he said, had been living in a ”tragic split world” since her parents separated when she was five. She was ”the linchpin through which parental conflict was channelled”. The law says the Family Court’s ”paramount consideration” when making parenting orders is the interests of the child.

But for children such as T, who was assigned an independent lawyer by Legal Aid, court disputes over where they will live, and how, seem focused squarely on the parents.

Justice Cronin noted that much of the evidence in this case was about her mother and father, ”even though they may not have seen it that way”.

He said T’s mother was ”disarmingly candid” about her drinking problem but had produced records that it was under control. If she was unable to curb the problem, he said, ”the Sword of Damocles may now be sitting there” and T’s father would be ”well within his rights” to argue he could not have a relationship with his daughter while she was part of her mother’s world.

In a second piece of writing, T wrote about a family ”falling apart” and a father who was ”mean to her mother”.

”It has all of the remarkable hallmarks of the child referring to her own family situation,” Justice Cronin said.

”It oozes with particularity in her stream of consciousness. In a bizarre ending, the mother is stabbed. The child returns home to find her mother covered in ‘bright red blood’. It is a cry for help.”

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The Devil

This parents makes a succinct  declaration for the impact of PAS in their life!  There are so many families that are ruined due to PAS. There are too many children that experience emotional heartache and turmoil because one parent chooses to engage in behaviors representative of PAS!

One more time:  

Divorce is between the parents-ABOUT THE CHILD!

LOVE WINS!!! LOVE WINS!!! LOVE WINS!!! LOVE WINS!!!

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After living in HELL for 7 months due to the divorce and custody hearings- I am convinced that Family Court is the devil himself! The devil uses the family court to destroy a family-especially the child!  The judge and the attorneys are the messengers.

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#329, The Devil

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Look at Me!

So, the Family Court is front and center.  In color and large in comparison to the ‘family’ that the court is to help. The most compelling part is the child at the edge of the pic waving-like he/she is saying ‘look at me’, ‘hey, I am over here’.  Is that the way some divorces seem? Should not the child be at the forefront of a pic of divorce?  Front and center, larger than everything and everyone else?  

A revealing pic of the Family Court system and the role of the family.  

Look at mefamily_law_attorney_rancho_cucamonga_by_prainitolaw-d95m8rd

Artwork by Prainitolaw.  Link to artwork: http://www.deviantart.com/art/Family-Law-Attorney-Rancho-Cucamonga-553631449

#292, Look at Me!

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A Plea for Help

An 11-year-old is able to summarize what many courts have not. Thankfully, this judge was astute enough to see this child’s plea for help! Truly, a case of the parents putting their anger and hatred before the needs of the child.  

She has witnessed countless bitter rows between her warring parents, including an incident at her primary school assembly that led to police being called. Her mother, a health worker, admits she has an alcohol abuse problem and her behaviour towards her former husband and his new wife has been ”appalling”.

Her parents can barely speak to each other. Tempers flared when her father took her on an overseas trip without telling her mother.

But when she wrote a school project about a child trapped in a vicious custody battle, a Family Court judge heard a cry for help.

”This has got to stop,” the 11-year-old known as ”T” wrote in a childish cursive script. ”Not in a few years. Not when people can finally be [bothered] to do it. It needs to be done NOW!”

In four sentences, the student traced the despair of thousands of children dragged into messy familial dramas in the courts – and their struggle to be heard above the fray.

”The heading of the writing … said that in the Family Court, children should have a say,” Justice Paul Cronin said in a judgment published last week.

”She said the court got to choose the residence of a child or what the child did, and she rhetorically asked whether that was fair. She said that children should have a day to go into the court and speak up.

”In a pointed remark, the child wrote that adults buy and build houses and children should at least get an opportunity to decide where they lived and with whom they wanted to live.”

Since 2006, the Family Court has been required to take into account any views expressed by the child when making parenting orders. In the vast majority of cases, their views are filtered through a lawyer, psychologist or a family consultant, who is an officer of the court.

T’s writing project, in a school exercise book, was brought to the court’s attention by one of the psychologists who gave evidence. The child, he said, had been living in a ”tragic split world” since her parents separated when she was five. She was ”the linchpin through which parental conflict was channelled”. The law says the Family Court’s ”paramount consideration” when making parenting orders is the interests of the child.

But for children such as T, who was assigned an independent lawyer by Legal Aid, court disputes over where they will live, and how, seem focused squarely on the parents.

Justice Cronin noted that much of the evidence in this case was about her mother and father, ”even though they may not have seen it that way”.

He said T’s mother was ”disarmingly candid” about her drinking problem but had produced records that it was under control. If she was unable to curb the problem, he said, ”the Sword of Damocles may now be sitting there” and T’s father would be ”well within his rights” to argue he could not have a relationship with his daughter while she was part of her mother’s world.

In a second piece of writing, T wrote about a family ”falling apart” and a father who was ”mean to her mother”.

”It has all of the remarkable hallmarks of the child referring to her own family situation,” Justice Cronin said.

”It oozes with particularity in her stream of consciousness. In a bizarre ending, the mother is stabbed. The child returns home to find her mother covered in ‘bright red blood’. It is a cry for help.”

The judge made parenting orders running to 27 paragraphs, including that neither parent should contact the other, outside of emergencies, until they had agreed in writing that they could be civil about their daughter. ”Unfortunately their focus has been on each other rather than on the child,” he wrote. ”It is time to stop for the child’s sake.”

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Sydney Morning Herald.  Childs school project becomes a plea to the family court.

#270, A Plea for Help

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Custody

One pic is worth a thousand words!  

50-50 custody is in the BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD!  Fight for the presumption of 50-50 custody!

Art c cust 50 m

#263, Custody

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A Really Hard Day

Parents rearranging schedules to keep one parent from seeing their child is hurtful to the child and to the parent being excluded.  Here is one experience outlining the hurt and devastation.  One would wonder if this mom considered the emotional pain this could (and did) cause their son.  

If one parent is trying to ‘win’…then the child is losing out at some level.

Divorce is between the parents-ABOUT THE CHILD!

LOVE WINS!!!    LOVE WINS!!!     LOVE WINS!!!    LOVE WINS!!!     

Anonymous

Today was my boyfriends day to have his kids from 3(after school) until 6 PM, court order I mind you. The mother of the children took it in her own power to demand that today she is picking up the kids saying my boyfriend gave her the right to, which is untrue. We went and spoke with the summer teachers and daycare and they were saying how his son was asking continuously throughout the day if his daddy was picking him up and if it was 3 yet…the kids are always looking forward to his days picking them up. She did as she said she was and got them against court order and we went to the police and showed up at her house. We saw her drive by and the cops called her and they were so awesome and polite and just asked for her to come back so we can a figure this thing out. She refused and from what I heard was completely disrespectful to the cops. We had his court orders in hand at the time which didn’t really do much…I get that the cops can only do so much and I appreciate any efforts that they make…but what gets me is, the ex took time away from my boyfriend from his kids, she took time away from her own kids that look forward to time with their father…neither of them will ever have that time again, it was taken…even the courts can’t replace the 3 hours that my boyfriend should have gotten with his kids today. The courts are so unfair, even bringing this to court, really, what is it going to do so my boyfriend can have his kids in his life and not just be a bystander?!?!? So frustrated, angry and broken…today was a really hard day…

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.The Fathers’ Rights Movement, July 29, 2015.

Link to FB page for The Fathers’ Rights Movement: https://www.facebook.com/Fathers4kids?ref=ts&fref=ts

#259, A Really Hard Day

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Family Law Court Reform

Family Law court reform is a topic deserving of attention.  The Father’s Rights Movement shares important information.  

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I believe the gift of parenting children is the single greatest blessing and experience an individual can enjoy in life. Therefore to me, parenting rights are not a “special rights” concern; they are a “human rights” concern.

So, I want to ask where you stand on an important political issue: Family Law Reform.

As you may or may not be aware, our current system of Family Law has devolved into one in which a whole host of Family Court Industry players are profiteering from the minimization or elimination of parenting time and rights for non-custodial parents.

Many custodial parents, lawyers, parenting plan evaluators, supervised parenting services, States, friends of the Court social workers, many Courts, and others; are making money by using children as an excuse to exploit non-custodial parents, causing irreparable harm to both children and their parents in the process.

I, and a rapidly growing base of many others, would like this to stop. More specifically, we are asking for five primary reforms to Family Law:

The presumption of 50/50 custody and parenting rights during and after divorce. We are NOT asking for a REQUIREMENT of 50/50, because we still want parents to be able to decide for themselves what works best for them. However, in the event that case goes to trial, instead of having the NCP being forced to rise to a high standard to show why they should have time with their children, I believe it’s far healthier (for both parents and children) for the parent contesting this time to be required to rise to a high standard to show why the NCP should NOT have equal time with their children. And while this may dramatically hit the financial accounts of those who are using children for profit by creating or aggravating conditions of conflict, this reform will affect far healthier outcomes for families.

I would like reforms to child support calculations. More specifically, an elimination of financial incentives for minimizing or eliminating a non-custodial parent’s time with their little ones. As it sits now, there are basically two pieces to the child support calculation: (1) An actual physical needs worksheet, and (2) A tax-free income redistribution; with the Court establishing the higher of the two as the child support order. I recognize that custodial parents may need some time to adjust after divorce, and I have no problems with alimony/maintenance. However, I would like the alimony portion of child support to be eliminated. If a CP wants to better their lifestyle, they can put the work into bettering themselves just like NCP’S are often admonished to do. Children are NOT tax-free income producing assets, and NCP’s are NOT indentured servants.

Reforms to child support enforcement: If one wants to accomplish a goal, it helps establish good or helpful conditions to achieve that goal. Unfortunately, the Family Court has become accustomed to pathological and often draconian measures for enforcement in which the civil rights of NCP’s are systematically ignored or eliminated through administrative court procedures. If a person loses their job, or becomes ill or disabled, it makes no sense what so ever, to take away their driver’s license, vocational license, destroy their credit, throw them in jail, or force them into homelessness. How does this help to ensure the support gets caught-up? It doesn’t. It simply makes the problem worse and sets the non-custodial parent up for future, life-destroying failures. Truthfully, current regimes for enforcement that treat “deadbroke” parents as common criminals are completely inappropriate.

Social Security Act, Title IV, Part D, Section 458 “Incentive Payments To States”: I have no problem, in theory, with states being rewarded for child support enforcement. However, I have a big problem with States profiting from it, and a REALLY big problem with the lack of resources available to NCP’s for visitation enforcement. For little or no cost, a CP can have the state pursue civil or criminal remedies for delinquent child support. However, an NCP in reality, must hire an attorney if his or her visitation orders are being ignored, and often, these orders are not enforced with anywhere near the same severity by the Court as they are with child support orders. And I’m confident this is happening in large part, due to the financial interests of those parties noted above. Therefore, if there is going to be Federal incentives for the enforcement of Family Court orders, I want equal weighting and importance put the enforcement of visitation orders. Honestly, the message that money is more important than a parent’s relationship and the emotional well-being of children is remarkably disgusting. I simply can’t tolerate that kind of worldview.

VAWA reform. I agree that victims of abuse and violence need the ability to feel safe in swiftly seeking the protection of the Justice system. However, fraudulent allegations of abuse made during Family Court are getting out of control. This is a gender-neutral problem, and it seems it now boils down to which party can launch this nuclear attack first. There are no remedies available to the victims of fraudulent allegations – none, and the damage these allegations cause to both children and parents is catastrophic. The American Bar Association loves to fall back on VAWA as its reasoning for opposing any kind of Family Law reform. However, I can’t help but wonder how much money attorneys and investigators are making from a law that allows someone to be accused of such a serious crime and presumed guilty of it with no credible evidence what-so-ever. Something needs to be done about this, right now.

In short, much of the current political and judicial rationalizing for the current structure of Family Law centers on the concept of what’s “in the best interests of the children”. However, what is becoming increasingly clear is that children are simply being used as a seemingly noble excuse to mask a greedier underlying motive that is causing significant and irreparable harm to parents and children alike.

I understand you can expect to receive significant resistance to my ideas for reform because those parties noted earlier have a great deal to lose when they take place.

However, I’m not concerned about them. I’m concerned about the health and well-being children and parents, and your position on this matter will affect my voting behavior going forward.

Therefore, I will be grateful if you will tell me, in plain and simple words, where you stand on Family Law Reform.

Thank you so much for your time.

Respectfully,

The Fathers’ Rights Movement

#164, Family Law Court Reform

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Best Interest of Money

A revealing take on the Family Court System!  Somehow, the Family Court system has deterred from making decisions that are ‘In the best interest of the child!” 

In the interest of money m

 

Shared on the Father’s Rights Movement.

Link to FB page: https://www.facebook.com/Fathers4kids?fref=ts

#153, Best Interest of Money

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