The Living Dead

 

Here is an emotional account of the heart wrenching reality of  parental alienation. Emotional mental health is important in high conflict divorces.  If you are devastated because you are unable to have a relationship with your child- please seek help.  There are support groups to offer emotional support. There is hope in finding strength with other parents experiencing the same feelings. Suicide is not the answer. 

Shared by David Shubert on Parental ALienationAwareness Organization International-North Texas 

The Living Dead

The very breath we breathe is sucked out of us. We walk around like zombies. The smile we once had is no longer visible and peace is forever gone. This is what it is like for a parent who has been alienated from their children. We simply cease to function on a normal basis. On the outside, we are normal but on the inside we scream in terror and hold onto dysfunctional behavior.

Most people who know us do not understand what we are going through. They only see what they want to see. They will never understand what it is like to lose their child because of the vindictive actions of an alienating spouse or the erroneous decisions of a family court judge. They think we embellish our situation and should be able to move on but, how can we?

There are many parents and our children who have chosen to lose the battle of alienation because the pain is too great and are unable to continue fighting for what they desire. It is unfortunate when this occurs because their pain may end in the physical and emotional sense but, they leave it behind for those still on this earth who once loved them.

For myself, I have known three parents who have chosen to end their pain and suffering in the most dreadful manner caused by alienation. It leaves a hole in my heart that can never be filled. For family members, it must be even more devastating. I can only say that you must hold on and believe that tomorrow will be better.

It is imperative that each of you take care to safeguard your mental and emotional health because you need to be here for the time of when your children awaken from their slumber and realize they need you. If, you choose to make the ultimate decision to end your pain…you are wrong and you are selfish. Pick yourself up and make the conscious decision to fight back against the dark powers.

There is a way to do this and that is the power of self-healing. Step back from the fight. Concentrate on yourself and do something that promotes a different emotional environment for yourself. I understand how difficult this may be and how you may feel that you are giving up on your child through this process but, if you are damaged then you are no good to yourself nor your child.

Take time to heal. Go on that long awaited vacation. Go fishing. Camping with a friend? How about taking a dancing class? Perhaps counseling? Whatever you need to do make sure that fulfill your bucket list and come back a more complete person. After all, you’re worth it and so are your children. They need to have you back in their lives and not an emotional wreck. They need you as you once were.

Ultimately, the choice is yours to make. You can either choose to live in a silent, emotional fear and heartache or you can make the conscious decision to rise above this and heal yourself. Don’t be selfish in your actions. Consider who you are doing this for and that is your children. They deserve to have a super-mom or super-dad in their corner fighting for them.

Heal yourself from within and regain your life, your smile and your children. We all have this drive and fight inside us, we just have to reach down deep to find it. We do not have to be the living dead. We can instead be the living parents again!

By David Shubert

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#449, The Living Dead

Categories: A Parent’s heartache, Parent to Parent, Reality of Divorce 

Kubo and the Monster

 

This very talented artist faces the ‘monster’ of divorce.  Excellent depiction of the emotional experiences of divorce from the child’s perspective. The artist shares: “As Kubo walked into the dark, gloomy cave, he suddenly heard a noise and swiftly turned around to it’s source, he looked but there was no one there, he turned back around and gazed at the sight of the monster ,The Monster of abandonment ,and despair, he swiftly grabbed his guitar and shamisen,and started to play.”

info about the art from the artist:
“Okay, the shadowy wolf thing its actually what I had to deal with in my elementary school years ,you see my elementary school years were not the best ,I had to face betrayal ,abandonment ,loneliness ,and my family now divorced ,and many other things ,but it wasn’t until jr. high that I met my friend ,which is now my friend even to today.”

#447, Kubo and the Monster

Deviant Art, Kub and the Monster by cookiedragon202

http://cookiedragon202.deviantart.com/art/Kubo-and-The-Monster-645096365

Categories: A Child’s View, Reality of Divorce, Impact on child

 

 

Who is Missing?

 

A book cover reveals the sad reality of divorce. The most prominent feature of this picture is the outline of a father with a very sad face. Neither child is smiling. The only person who appears happy is mom. Curiously, her arm is around the ‘missing’ father. Children have right to have a relationship with both parents. If a child had two parents in their life before the divorce, then they should be able to enjoy both parents after the divorce.

Divorce is between the parents-about the child! LOVE WINS!

#445, Who is Missing?

Categories: Impact on child, Reality of Divorce

La Divorce

 

 

This artwork reveals the dichotomy of divorce.  A happy parent with a red purse holding her daughters hand (on the right side). This part includes a heart balloon, a stuffed polka-dot animal, a tall flower with a tiny ribbon collared dog leaping for joy.  The man in the middle is wearing a hat and has facial features. There is a wide smile shaped line extending past the outline on both sides. There appears to be a text bubble (?) in pink stemming from his hat.

On the left side this parent is looking down while walking. Her purse is now smaller and in black. Thee are no flowers, balloons or animals. There is a black heart with a black line. Notably, her shoes have an added outline which may be interpreted as something weighting her down. This time the mans face has no eyes or mouth. The possible text bubble is coming from where his mouth would be.

I wonder if many parents feel like this. Especially when there is parental conflict. Seemingly, a parent may be more accepting of a divorce if they know their child is happy and taken care of.

la-divorce-m3

 #438, La Divorce

La Divorce by Sladjana Lazarevic

Not Such a Happy Family

 

This artwork captures the sentimental aspect of divorce. Each partner appears emotionally bewildered. Seemingly, they are sadly accepting their failed marriage.  The paper has the word Divorce and a red X for each signature capturing the reality and simplicity of ending a loving relationship by just signing the form. These characters truly present the emotional burden of divorce.  Divorce is difficult; the species matters not. 

Deviant Art not such a happy family 2016-12-11-at-7-23-19-pm

 

#436, Not such a happy family

Deviant Art: not such a happy family by mantislady

deviant-art-comm__not_such_a_happy_family_by_mantislady-daqv5nw-png

 

Hate Male

 

Are we sending the wrong message to males? Children who grow up without the love and care of their father may be inclined to create their family on the streets, in a gang. Categorizing males as irresponsible and reducing fathers to paychecks is inaccurate and unfair.  Sending a message of love and not hate is critical for future generations.

hate-male-m

#430, Hate Male

Fathers-4-Justice FB

Impact on child/Reality of divorce

I miss my daddy, divorce stinks

 

A vivid portrayal of the parent/child relationship for one artist. Notice how there is a person peering out the window; who might that be.   The ball seems to have a happy face albeit looking down in what appears to be a puddle (of tears?) possibly.  The part that stands out the most is the look of utter sadness on this child’s face. Interestingly, the mothers hands are reaching out to her child, yet, the hand on the right seems somewhat distorted.  Does this mean the child does experience the touch as the mother intended or is the child missing her daddy so much that nothing else can offer comfort to her.  A poignant moment of emotions for this artist.

i-miss-my-daddy-divorce-stinks-m

#429, I miss my daddy, divorce stinks

newyorktimes.com

Impact on child/Impact on child/Reality of divorce