Welcome! A Place for Poetry of the Personal!

Stained glass 5 pt 11 inch no spaces

Confess your feelings of betrayal, fear, heartache or humiliation that you have experienced in your divorce or co-parenting situation.

Share a setting that you regret or a situation that may have caused anguish, misery or sorrow  for your co-parent.  Or, reveal actions that may have promoted emotional pain or unhappiness for your child.

Confessions are not limited to heartache only.  Please share heartwarming moments and happy experiences you have experienced in divorce and shared parenting too!  Perhaps, something your co-parent did or said that has enhanced your co-parenting relationship.  

Here is anopportunity to share the confessions about your divorce or co-parenting experiences. This can be something that you have told to family and friends or a private thought that has remained a secret…….until now. Focus on extreme moments of individual experiences.  

This is a place to confess what your co-parent did or said that led to your feelings of betrayal, fear or humiliation. Write about something that you enacted, a statement or a thought you expressed that caused grief for your co-parent, your child or yourself.  

We learn from others experiences and situations. Perhaps in reading these scenarios, co-parents can identify with issues they are also experiencing.   Hopefully,one can see how some actions can have long-term negative effects and cause pain for their co-parent or child!   Importantly, by reading these stories co-parents can see that they are not alone in the thoughts and feelings surrounding their divorce and co-parenting relationship.

Invitation is extended to:

  • Parents who are divorced or in the process of divorce.
  • Parents and co-parents (never married) who have children.
  • Parents who have or do not have a parenting plan in place.
  • Anyone interested in a front row seat to see the despair that divorce or co-parenting issues can have on a parent and how the actions impact the child.
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Celebs and Parental Divorce

 

Everyone experiences divorce differently; Yet the emotions and feelings are the same. Celebrity status does not offset the experiences and reactions to parental divorce. Here is what the celebs are saying about their experience with parental divorce:

 

Nicole Richie:

 In a 2004 interview with Oprah,
Nicole Richie revealed how her dad Lionel Ritchie’s 1993 divorce from her mother, Brenda, affected her at eight years old: “When my dad divorced my mom it was kind of like him leaving me also.”

 

Justin Bieber:  

During a 2010 concert, Justin Bieber reportedly broke down after performing “Down to Earth,” a song inspired by his parent’s split, which happened when the pop star was three.

“My parents splitting up is definitely not one of the highlights of my life. It’s sad, the kid experiences feeling like one of his parents left,” Bieber reportedly told Twist magazine in June 2010. “It makes you not feel so good. I think a lot of kids have had their parents split up, and they should know that it wasn’t because of something they did.”
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 Pink: 
In a 2007 interview with the Sunday Telegraph, singer Pink said she morphed into an angry teen following her parent’s divorce. “I was never allowed to go over to any of my friends’ houses when I was little, because I was the bad influence,” she said. “None of their parents liked me and my own parents were scared to death of me — and for me.”
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 Justin Timberlake: 
In the August 2011 issue of Elle, Justin Timberlake talked about the impact his parent’s divorce had on him. “My parents divorced when I was three. I’m humbly and honestly finding out that I have a lot of issues with that,” Timberlake told the magazine. “I’m finding more and more that… I’m going to break the chain because that’s what you want to do, break the chain of your parents. But at some point, it’s in your blood and you have a thing that happens and you’re like, ‘Holy s**t, my parents did that.'”
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Bette Davis: 
Film legend Bette Davis allegedly had this to say  about her parent’s divorce, which occured when she was seven years old: “Of course I replaced my father. I became my own father and everyone else’s.”
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Mary Kate Olsen and Ashley:

A co-celeb shared their observation: “They saw dad and mom fight alot- and then suddenly dad was gone. He stays an active part of their lives, but he isn’t there to tuck them into bed or read them stories.”

“They’re unhappy. It’s sad to see them.”

 

Actor and former footballer VINNIE JONES:

‘I had a brilliant childhood until Mum and Dad divorced when I was 13. That changed my life because it was like one of your parents dying. Divorce makes you rebel – it gives you insecurities and a licence to do what you want, because your mum and dad are always playing a game with you.’

 

Socialite TAMARA ECCLESTONE

‘All I wanted was for Mum and Dad to get back together. I felt like everything I’d known had gone. When they split up, I took refuge in food. I ate and ate and ate. But still I couldn’t fill the void. When they divorced I found it hard to deal with. It was a big change – and I’m not good with change.’

 

Actress ISLA FISHER:

‘You can’t underestimate how traumatic divorce is for the children. When your parents divorce, it makes you grow up fast. I’d urge parents to strongly consider working things out. I’d work things out and I’d definitely stay put. Especially if there were babies involved.’

 

IGELLA LAWSON:

‘Because my parents divorced when we were in our late teens, my siblings and I developed strong connections. you don’t live with your parents in the same way.’ Nigella recently divorced her second husband Charles Saatchi on the grounds of his continuing unreasonable behaviour.

 

One Direction’s HARRY STYLES

‘When I was seven my mum and dad divorced and that was quite a weird time. I remember crying about it. I didn’t really get what was going on properly – I was just sad that my parents wouldn’t be together any more.’

 

ALISON EASTWOOD (daughter of Clint Eastwood)

‘My parents divorced when I was six. I had to grow up very fast. It’s hard as a kid not to take a break-up personally. Even if your parents say, ‘You did nothing wrong’, there’s still a part of you that thinks, ‘Is it me? Do they not love me?’ You feel like the glue that sticks them together, and when that comes undone, there’s always that awful little thing in the back of your mind. I felt rejected and that affects your self-esteem.’

 

PEACHES GELDOF (daughter of Bob Geldof and Paula Yates)

‘My parents had a very public, bitter divorce and I was old enough to see what was going on. People talked about us and I knew it was horrendous. For us children, it was an environment that was impossible, veering between a week with my mother and then a week with my father. It was like living on a permanent seesaw. Those feelings have stayed with me.’

 

PETER HUHNE, son of former cabinet minister Chris Huhne

Devastated over his parents’ marriage break-up, his father’s infidelity and lies about a speeding offence, Peter [pictured with his mother Vicky Pryce] said to him: ‘So nice to see our entire relationship reduced to lies. Do you take me for an idiot? The fact you said your parents were happier as a result of their divorce was disgusting’ You are the most ghastly man I have ever known.’

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News presenter SUSANNA REID

‘I had a choppy childhood after my parents divorced when I was nine. When Mum told me that she and Dad were getting divorced, I cried and cried. I don’t blame them and I know it was the right thing, but it was so sad.’

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Singer CORINNE BAILEY RAE:

‘My parents divorced when I was a teenager. As the eldest of three sisters, I was my mum’s confidante. You grow up fast working out how something went wrong.’

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TV presenter AMANDA DE CADENET

‘I came from a divorced home and displayed all the behaviour of a young woman struggling to find an identity and seeking to fill the loneliness with anything I could.’

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Selena Gomez

“I blamed my mom a lot [for the divorce] because I wanted a family so bad,”  “I wanted to have my mom and dad together. I remember just being angry with my mom. I still feel really bad about that.”

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Jennifer Aniston

“It was pretty crappy, I came home from a birthday party and he was moved out. It was pretty abrupt,”  “Sure, your dad leaves and disappears for a while, that’s pretty brutal. But that’s sort of the beauty of it. Like I said, I would never exchange any of it… Me making people laugh, finding the humor in things, trying to lighten up the mood between disgruntled parents, getting attention… It sort of was a survival technique.”
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Johnny Depp

“I recall hearing my parents argue and thinking: ‘Come on, this is torture. Just split!’ They stuck it out until I was 15, but I’d seen it coming for years. When they finally did divorce, I thought: ‘OK, this is the right thing’.”

#562, Celebs and Parental Divorce

 

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Officially Divorced

A scribe in the center indicates this is a different time period.  Is this father holding the papers making the separation legal? Or, why are his children being separated from him?  Closed eyes and hand on his heart show the separation may not be his idea.  One child is looking to their father.  Children being separated from a parent is a devastating event regardless of the time period.

#561, Officially Divorced

Unhappy Court Appearance

 

A powerful picture! The power of the judge is indicated by a gavel, pen, and paperwork.  Scales are in view.   Is this a fair case? Are the red hands indicative of something?  Two parents and a child are at the desk.  Suitcases packed; does this mean someone is not going home?  Mom and dad are fighting.  The child is in the middle of his parents with large tears streaming down his face.  

#560, Unhappy Court Appearance

Dividing Line

The most prominent part of this artwork is a strong zig-zag line. Parents  are facing away from their child on each side of the dividing line.  Curiously, the child is part blue.  He is looking to one side with hands open like he is receptive to something or waiting for an object to be passed to him.  Is he waiting for a parent to take his hand? Hopefully, someone will notice the child and talk about what is happening in this family.

#559 Dividing Line

‘Holidays are Ruined’

 

An adult child of divorce (ADOC) comments on a post about the holidays.  Holidays are a time for family.  For some,  this becomes  a time of choosing.  A difficult decision for anyone to make. Who should the ADOC spend time with?  How do they reconcile the feelings of guilt?

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Holidays were a horrid thing for me too! I completely agree! My mother divorced twice, so I felt all this pressure to see my dads family, my mother, and my step dads family too (because believe it or not, I feel closer to my step dad than either of my actual parents.)

Holidays are ruined; trying to visit everyone is stressful, tiresome, and down right emotionally exhausting. I always end up crying a lot, and my kids would be confused as to whose house we were at and what they were supposed to call all these people. Every single family member thinks they are entitled to have me drive to their home. No one comes to see me, however. And they all get mad if I go to another family members home! So you can’t win for losing! Which is why I stopped going completely. They seem to have nothing but a hot dose of guilt to give me anyway.

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Marriage-Ecosystem, comment for The Issues are Legion, August 8, 2013.

Emotional support for “The Issues are Legion”.  

http://www.marriage-ecosystem.org/the-issues-are-legion.html

#1122, Holidays are Ruined

Broken Holidays

 

Holidays are important to everyone in the family. One artists interpretation of the impact of divorce on the family.  This was done “after I learned of the impending divorce of one of my aunt and uncles… And the fact that said aunt probably wouldn’t be coming to that Thanksgiving or Christmas with the family. Family gatherings for my family generally means a lot of very delicious food, so that’s what came to mind with the image.”  

Deviant Art broken_holidays_by_silvervistani

 

Deviant Art, Broken Holidays

#1336, Broken Holidays