Don’t Give Up Hope

 

 

This artist shares a poignant poem for children and parents of divorce.  Divorce generates such an intense state of suffering for all parties. Emotional support is directed for those in the midst of divorce s a party and as a victim of parental divorce. Her encouraging words offers tips for coping emotionally in the aftermath.  The insightful comments acknowledge the hardship, heartbreak and the letting go of the past that inevitably accompanies divorce. 

Poem

Divorce is such a hard topic to deal with
From the moment that you’re a child, and the universe breaks
Or when you’re the adult, when you’re the one
Who has to make the choices, make the change
Speaking from the position of letting go
Sometimes, letting go is one of the best things you can do
You can’t change others; you can only change yourself
You might make mistakes; might have done things that
Could have made things better
You might feel like even though you’re alive
That life doesn’t seem worth living
But it is
The sun will rise again
Have hope
Even when things seem to be falling apart
Look up
There’s a point where you have to stop dwelling on the past
And learn to accept yourself for who you are now
You have to learn that there are just some things
You’re going to do, mistakes you’re going to make
And that even if you were perfect
Sometimes, things just don’t work out
Don’t focus on the pain alone
Pain, like guilt, is a tool
And, if you are a daughter or a son going through this heartbreaking event
For heaven’s sake…
Don’t blame yourself
Whatever you do, don’t blame yourself.
It’s not your fault, even if it feels like it.
It’s. not. you.
And it’s going to take time to process these hurts
Don’t expect it to be easy
For the parents…
We all make mistakes
But it’s the sum of our parts
That makes us who we are
Even if you’re struggling, trying to find hope
One of the best ways to do that is to reach out to people that you trust
People that can help you, guide you, and who can set the road for a new life
Don’t expect everything to be normal
Don’t expect the world to just be okay
Don’t brush away your feelings
Accept them
But with hope
For if you have not hope
You will not see the good that can come from such a tragic event
Let things go
Change what you need to change
Let the world be quiet for just a little while,
And let your heart be comforted
It will turn out all right
Don’t give up hope

 

#450, Don’t Give Up Hope

Poem by J Lynn D. (celestialsunberry) at Deviant Art by celestialsunberry.deviantart.com

Picture from a different source.

I miss my daddy, divorce stinks

 

A vivid portrayal of the parent/child relationship for one artist. Notice how there is a person peering out the window; who might that be.   The ball seems to have a happy face albeit looking down in what appears to be a puddle (of tears?) possibly.  The part that stands out the most is the look of utter sadness on this child’s face. Interestingly, the mothers hands are reaching out to her child, yet, the hand on the right seems somewhat distorted.  Does this mean the child does experience the touch as the mother intended or is the child missing her daddy so much that nothing else can offer comfort to her.  A poignant moment of emotions for this artist.

i-miss-my-daddy-divorce-stinks-m

#429, I miss my daddy, divorce stinks

newyorktimes.com

Impact on child/Impact on child/Reality of divorce

Non-existent Scars

 

This amazing artist illustrates her thoughts in a captivating way “…my parents have been arguing for hours, and they’ve seemed to ignore me fully…but what I have been hearing is making me feel overwhelmed.  I have asked my parents what is wrong and what they are arguing about, but I get no answer, I just get ignored. I honestly think this is serious because “divorce” has been brought up. Who do I go to now? It’s like I don’t exist to my family anymore, or they have no use for me to be around them.”

What does this artist do?  Parental conflict is difficult to hear and watch. While art is a constructive way to share her feelings, her words seem to reveal confusion and sadness.   I hope her parents explain things to her.  Sometimes, knowing what is happening helps relieve the anxiety.  

 

 

Deviant Art Nonexistent scars m

#426, Non-existent Scars

Deviant Art, Nonexistent Scars by Loveheart14679, miamoosy67@gmail.com

Posted in: Impact on child/Impact on child

STOP Fighting

 

The artist portrays the child as a lost and forlorn little boy. Drawing a heart in the sand! His pants have a hole and jacket is too large.  Perhaps, revealing how no one is paying attention to the care of this young one.   

Deviant Art happiness if short ihp_seashell_by_koenta

.

#331, STOP Fighting

 

 

Family Fight

 

This is what one artist remembers about childhood!  Parents fighting,quite violently while the child watches from the balcony in their home.  Child looks scared and is frowning, holding tight to the balustrade while observing the two people they love the most FIGHTING!  The most striking feature of the parents’  conflict is the appearance of red marks, blood perhaps.  The dad seems to appear as a wolf. Words appearing out of his mouth attacking mom.  Hands outstretched to hit the mom.  Mom has no facial features, and is turned away.  She does not seem to defend herself.  There does seem to be the appearance of wings on the mom; representing her innocence in the conflict (?).  

Regardless of the representing features, this picture is a painful reminder of what too many children experience.  

A child watching their parents fight is confusing and promotes a sense of emotional turmoil and insecurity.

Deviant Art chinelle family_fight_by_avidlebon

.

Deviant Art, Family Fight

Link to artwork: http://www.deviantart.com/art/Chinelle-Family-Fight-153997945

#325, Family Fight

The Dance of Divorce

 

Is this a perfect depiction of divorce for some children!  A child is standing in the center.  Each parent and a sibling are going in opposite directions. Is he trying to decide  who do I choose? Mommy or daddy? Which sibling? Notably, everyone seems to be walking away.   This child appears in the spotlight-yet, no one is paying attention. How many children are left to fend for themselves because everyone is dealing with their own emotions?  A realistic, albeit, somber portrayal of divorce.

Deviant Art The dance of divorce m

.

Deviant Art, The Dance of Divorce

#322, The Dance of Divorce

Stop Fighting

 

Understandably, parental conflict may be upsetting to children and adolescents.  This artist portrays this young girl as being in emotional pain while listening to her parents fight.  Striving for an amicable relationship with your co-parent is a huge gift to offer your child.  

Parents are a child’s first and most important teacher.  A child learns about relationships by watching their parents! What is this child learning about communicating with family members?

Deviant Ar Eyes dlfamily_portrait_by_gray_wolf_eyes

.

Deviant Art, Family Portrait by gray-wolf-eyes

314, Stop Fighting

.

 

 

 

Divorce and a Child’s Toy Box

 

Expressions of divorce through the analogy of toys and family members.   The description of each sibling is heart wrenching. Divorce can create feelings of abandonment and loneliness.   Each line of this poem alludes to the horrible impact divorce can have on a child.  

.

Divorce
My family is like a child’s toybox
My stepfather is a toy soldier,
strong, yet sentimental when needed.
My mother is the building blocks,
ready to tumble at any moment.
My little brother is a top,
moving quickly, stopping slowly.
My little sister is the toy that never gets played with,
being ignored and doesn’t say much.
And I; I am the bouncy ball being bounced between all these emotions
of a divorce…

.

#309, Divorce and a Child’s Toy Box

 

Please STOP!

 

 

A theme of childhood abandonment!  A child trying desperately to mask the fighting of her parents!  A sad reality for some children.  Parents are really fighting, pointing fingers, mouth is open …..  Parental conflict creates insecurity and confusion for the child.  Watching the two people they love and trust-fighting!

Deviant art Please stop m

.

Deviant Art: Please STOP by shopstalknroll

Link to artwork: http://www.deviantart.com/art/Please-STOP-97112089

#304, Please STOP

All My Fault

 

A common theme in divorce is the child thinking that THEY did something wrong……. If there was only a way that parents could divorce legally, have the child switch homes two times per week, alternate holidays and change lifestyle without the child being impacted emotionally.  Is that even possible?  Perhaps the better question is “How is that ?”possible.

Note the sad eyes of he child on the stairs.  The forlorn look while watching her parents argue.  The bottom half of a wedding pic…..  Parents seem to have intense fights.  Who would want their child exposed to such verbal fights?

Deviant Art All my fault dlsapphire_s_story__by_h0mi3-d972l8c

.

Deviant Art, Sapphire’s Story by h0mi3

Link to artwork: http://www.deviantart.com/art/Sapphire-s-Story-556073724

#300, All My Fault