The Issues are Legion

 

Sharing the holidays are a common problem in divorce.  This adult child of divorce explains the two perils of divorce for her.  

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There are too many sufferings in my life to list. Two things I would say are: Divorce and one remarriage ruined every holiday family gathering for me because parents or siblings pressured me to attend. I can’t be in two places at the same time, and parents would be angry or saddened because they knew I was with their ex-spouse. Also visiting for a few hours and driving off to another household every holiday is exhausting for me and my family.

Another thing I would say is that step-siblings are not my siblings, and a stepmother is definitely of no relation to me, so don’t demand a Mother’s Day gift!

I wish my entire family would let me live in peace WITHOUT them. Divorce ends a family unit. When my parents got divorced, I should have also been released from my famlial obligations.

The plus side of divorce? I wasn’t sad when one parent died because it removed that holiday stress. When the next parent dies, I will be sad, but then I will finally get to enjoy holidays with my husband.

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Marriage-Ecosystem, The Issues of Legion.

http://www.marriage-ecosystem.org/the-issues-are-legion.html

#121, The Issues are Legion

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Mother’s Day Sadness

 

Mother’s Day is a difficult holiday for some. An adult child of divorce reveals the emotional pain experienced on Mother’s Day!  Sadly, her mother engaged in behaviors representing PAS.  

Parents who use PAS tactics to ‘control’ their child should be forewarned that the plan may backfire when the child becomes an adult.   

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I was going to pretend that I’m fine today. Then I saw someone share this, (another post) and I couldn’t ignore the feelings anymore.

All I wish today is that I had a mother who wasn’t sick. I don’t regret cutting her out from my life, but I just hate that I don’t have a mom who may well never be stable enough to have a real relationship with. Especially since she’s able to cut off any emotional bond with people, apparently at will. So she may have lost all love for me. I’m just sad I don’t have a mom. Very much so. I thought that not being around today would make me feel good in a way, because it would be like revenge for her, to feel the consequences of what she’s done. But the sadness of not having a mom is greater.

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Parental Alienation World Wide Support, PAWWS, Faith Galvan, May 10, 2015.

 #112, Mother’s Day Sadness

Avoiding the Perils of Family Court

 

This parent shares the importance of understanding the family court system and avoiding the pitfalls that may create drama.  

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During my custody battle, I came to a deeper understanding how the courts system works and how the law applied in my particular case. I persevered by demonstrating that I was rational, reasonable, and always focused on the best interest of my children. Instead of relying solely on my attorney’s advice and historical precedent, I saw the bigger picture and thought long term.

I used several tactics to my advantage. I never left or was forced out of our marital residence, I managed to avoid physical altercations by keeping my emotions in check as much as possible, avoided being taken to jail by the NYPD by calmly explaining my side of the story and kept my focus by remaining totally devoted to my two children. I always took the high road and never talked badly about my ex to our children, no matter how tempting. I still don’t-she is the mother of our kids. They love her just as much as they love me.

When there are two loving parents that want to be actively involved in their children’s lives after divorce, there is no need to travel down the expected path of family court and mandatory child and/or spousal support. Women can learn from my story and understand that just because you may no longer love the father of your https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9v9K0MVAg-8, your children do. Children need their mother AND father. Find a way to stay out of that hell hole they loosely call “Family Court.” I am living proof that there is another way.

For father’s day, give your ex the gift of letting him be a father.

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#107, Avoid the Perils of Family Court