A common theme.
Parental conflict creates a sense of insecurity in the child. Research shows that parental conflict can lead to a higher likelihood that the child will have emotional issues, do poorly in school and have social and relationship issues. Remember, parent’s are the child’s first and most important teachers. A child learns about relationships from watching their parents.
Deviant Art, by whiteandass.
Link to artwork: http://www.deviantart.com/browse/all/?section=&global=1&q=child+support+lawyers
#207, Child Support Lawyers
A rather scary depiction of divorce. Large piercing eyes. Numerous pieces of legal documents. The child running away…..
Children experience problems with their parents’ legal issues.
Deviant Art, Trouble by mirelai.
Link to artwork: http://www.deviantart.com/art/Trouble-115612595
# 187, Trouble
Family Law court reform is a topic deserving of attention. The Father’s Rights Movement shares important information.
I believe the gift of parenting children is the single greatest blessing and experience an individual can enjoy in life. Therefore to me, parenting rights are not a “special rights” concern; they are a “human rights” concern.
So, I want to ask where you stand on an important political issue: Family Law Reform.
As you may or may not be aware, our current system of Family Law has devolved into one in which a whole host of Family Court Industry players are profiteering from the minimization or elimination of parenting time and rights for non-custodial parents.
Many custodial parents, lawyers, parenting plan evaluators, supervised parenting services, States, friends of the Court social workers, many Courts, and others; are making money by using children as an excuse to exploit non-custodial parents, causing irreparable harm to both children and their parents in the process.
I, and a rapidly growing base of many others, would like this to stop. More specifically, we are asking for five primary reforms to Family Law:
The presumption of 50/50 custody and parenting rights during and after divorce. We are NOT asking for a REQUIREMENT of 50/50, because we still want parents to be able to decide for themselves what works best for them. However, in the event that case goes to trial, instead of having the NCP being forced to rise to a high standard to show why they should have time with their children, I believe it’s far healthier (for both parents and children) for the parent contesting this time to be required to rise to a high standard to show why the NCP should NOT have equal time with their children. And while this may dramatically hit the financial accounts of those who are using children for profit by creating or aggravating conditions of conflict, this reform will affect far healthier outcomes for families.
I would like reforms to child support calculations. More specifically, an elimination of financial incentives for minimizing or eliminating a non-custodial parent’s time with their little ones. As it sits now, there are basically two pieces to the child support calculation: (1) An actual physical needs worksheet, and (2) A tax-free income redistribution; with the Court establishing the higher of the two as the child support order. I recognize that custodial parents may need some time to adjust after divorce, and I have no problems with alimony/maintenance. However, I would like the alimony portion of child support to be eliminated. If a CP wants to better their lifestyle, they can put the work into bettering themselves just like NCP’S are often admonished to do. Children are NOT tax-free income producing assets, and NCP’s are NOT indentured servants.
Reforms to child support enforcement: If one wants to accomplish a goal, it helps establish good or helpful conditions to achieve that goal. Unfortunately, the Family Court has become accustomed to pathological and often draconian measures for enforcement in which the civil rights of NCP’s are systematically ignored or eliminated through administrative court procedures. If a person loses their job, or becomes ill or disabled, it makes no sense what so ever, to take away their driver’s license, vocational license, destroy their credit, throw them in jail, or force them into homelessness. How does this help to ensure the support gets caught-up? It doesn’t. It simply makes the problem worse and sets the non-custodial parent up for future, life-destroying failures. Truthfully, current regimes for enforcement that treat “deadbroke” parents as common criminals are completely inappropriate.
Social Security Act, Title IV, Part D, Section 458 “Incentive Payments To States”: I have no problem, in theory, with states being rewarded for child support enforcement. However, I have a big problem with States profiting from it, and a REALLY big problem with the lack of resources available to NCP’s for visitation enforcement. For little or no cost, a CP can have the state pursue civil or criminal remedies for delinquent child support. However, an NCP in reality, must hire an attorney if his or her visitation orders are being ignored, and often, these orders are not enforced with anywhere near the same severity by the Court as they are with child support orders. And I’m confident this is happening in large part, due to the financial interests of those parties noted above. Therefore, if there is going to be Federal incentives for the enforcement of Family Court orders, I want equal weighting and importance put the enforcement of visitation orders. Honestly, the message that money is more important than a parent’s relationship and the emotional well-being of children is remarkably disgusting. I simply can’t tolerate that kind of worldview.
VAWA reform. I agree that victims of abuse and violence need the ability to feel safe in swiftly seeking the protection of the Justice system. However, fraudulent allegations of abuse made during Family Court are getting out of control. This is a gender-neutral problem, and it seems it now boils down to which party can launch this nuclear attack first. There are no remedies available to the victims of fraudulent allegations – none, and the damage these allegations cause to both children and parents is catastrophic. The American Bar Association loves to fall back on VAWA as its reasoning for opposing any kind of Family Law reform. However, I can’t help but wonder how much money attorneys and investigators are making from a law that allows someone to be accused of such a serious crime and presumed guilty of it with no credible evidence what-so-ever. Something needs to be done about this, right now.
In short, much of the current political and judicial rationalizing for the current structure of Family Law centers on the concept of what’s “in the best interests of the children”. However, what is becoming increasingly clear is that children are simply being used as a seemingly noble excuse to mask a greedier underlying motive that is causing significant and irreparable harm to parents and children alike.
I understand you can expect to receive significant resistance to my ideas for reform because those parties noted earlier have a great deal to lose when they take place.
However, I’m not concerned about them. I’m concerned about the health and well-being children and parents, and your position on this matter will affect my voting behavior going forward.
Therefore, I will be grateful if you will tell me, in plain and simple words, where you stand on Family Law Reform.
Thank you so much for your time.
The Fathers’ Rights Movement
#164, Family Law Court Reform
The utter travesty of the Family Court System lives on deep into the night …..
Do judges know what it is like to cry yourself to sleep every night because your child is not there, do they know what is like to wake up every morning in tears cause your child is not there, do they know what it’s like to fall into tears when flipping through a channel and seeing his favorite show on, do they know what it’s like sitting alone and the only sensation you can feel is the smell and hear the innocent voice of your child that was unconstitutionaly taken away by a corrupt system and a lying mother? My answer and best guess is NO!
#143, Do the Judges Know?
When the post “I Am A Father” was shared on FB page “Supporters of South Dakota Shared Parenting” in May 2015, several supporters responded.
These are deserving of attention and are shared on Shared Parenting Confessional as a separate post.
COMMENT: Just because you divorce the wife you don’t divorce the children.
COMMENT: What leads up to divorce and the divorce hurts the children beyond measure with a deep and painful wound, even in the best of divorce circumstances.
COMMENT: Back in the day, when couples had problems, the community came to help the family work out their problems. Now that the government and courts are involved all they want is to separate the family, have one parent be broke from not having any income because they stay at home with the kids while the other parent goes broke paying for another place to live, transportation cost for two houses. And let’s not forget all of the lawyers fees and court fees so in the end of all of the bs the child has been put through so much that we think that the child will grow to be a upstanding citizen? Reality check, we are looking to TV to raise our kids and the web to teach them. When all we have to do is be there for our brothers and sisters to listen and help families, not the lawyers and social workers.
Response comments to post “I Am A Father” shared in previous post.
Link to FB page Supporters for Shared Parenting South Dakota:
#140, I Am A Father, comments.
In the world of divorce, some fathers are categorized in a negative fashion. This father shares his thoughts on the relationship with his daughter before and after her birth. Fatherly pride is ever present. The one thing that stands out is that this daddy loves his baby!
This fathers experience with the family court system is, sadly, not atypical.
Importantly, at the end of the post there are quotes from several professionals that seem to place emphasis on the injustice of the court system that often fails to protect the very beings they are designed to protect-THE FAMILY UNIT and THE CHILD!
I am a father.
Not a deadbeat, not a coward, not a man that runs away from being a father, or a deserter of my own flesh and blood. Not a sperm donor or a court appointed ATM, but a Father in the purest form of the word. And while choosy “Moms choose Jif”, I sit, at 3:05 am holding the hot hands of a sick 7 year old princess. But that’s my job.
Because I am a father.
I would speak to my daughter while she was in utero. She would respond with little kicks and from the womb.. we interacted, and hadn’t even seen each other yet. When you immediately accept that, even before your child takes its first breath, you are already a Father you immediately begin to bond with your child.
The Family Law court system as a whole, and it’s Judges destroy the lives of children and in turn entire families by violating a Father’s right to Due process and equal protection under the law. But we’ve known that for decades. Anyone that thinks or believes that there is Due process for fathers in the Family Law Court system should be placed in a padded room and heavily sedated.
Why is it ok for Fathers to miss their children? Why is it ok for a Father to be sick and wrapped in worry? Why is it permissible for “Non Custodial” parents to start legal proceedings at an immediate disadvantage? Why is there no legislation in place to safeguard Fathers that are being swept in amid the men that make us all look bad?
We are judged before the first hearing.
It physically hurts on days I don’t have my daughter with me. “Depression hurts” as the commercial for anti-depressants says right? Ask yourself, what parent wouldn’t be stressed sleepless concerned about their child? Therefore forcing time away from a parent and child would reasonably cause a great deal of stress and worry.. to truly say the least.
But the Family Law Court its Judges, are far from reasonable.
Now, just imagine that you’re sitting at your desk at work, and two armed Sheriffs approach the receptionist’s desk, then your intercom buzzes, and you are then summoned to the front desk. The Sheriff asks you for your name, And then politely informs you that you have been served with child support papers…and that’s just the beginning.
Keep in mind that you are the same father that went through the entire pregnancy, CPR classes, ultrasounds, the Birth ya know, Dad stuff. For the record, ( a sidebar really, ) Any man that has stood side by side, each day and night for nine months with a hormonal, morning noon and night vomiting, habitual mood swinger knows that Fathers don’t exactly have it easy during a nine month pregnancy either. whether you are an amazing Father, or a deadbeat looser, Family Law Court will filter your life through Hell all the same.
I am a Father.
With no criminal record, never been arrested, no history of violence, domestic or other.. At what point did I ask to be Non-Custodial. There is nothing “Non-Custodial” about me.
I have never needed a court order to care for my Daughter.
Since when have I not been a Father?
I clinch my fist and grit my teeth while, the very system set in place to protect our families Not only fatally fails, but spits in my face and violates my rights.
“There is no system ever devised by mankind that is guaranteed to rip husband and wife or father, mother and child apart so bitterly than our present Family Court System.”
-Judge Brian Lindsay Retired Supreme Court Judge, New York, New York
What Social Services is good at is removing “Power” from people.
When this is accomplished, then there go choices. -Mr. Charles Johnson
Shared on Supporters of South Dakota Shared Parenting on April 20, 2014.
Link to FB page for Supporters of South Dakota Shared Parenting:
#139, I Am A Father