Ashamed

 

One father shares the humiliation he experienced due to false accusations by his ex.  This is the reality for many fathers (and some mothers).  Fathers’ lives are RUINED because of  the lies and games played and the lack of support within the Family Court  system.  

This speaks to the need for Family Court reform.  

Looking back over the past 3 years I can see that I was in a deep state of depression.  I  was ashamed because of the lies and accusations made by my ex.  I was ashamed because I was unable to protect my children from my wife who had ‘mental health problems.

I was falsely accused and labeled as an abuser.  I lost my job.  I had to move into my parents home.  I was labeled as a trouble maker in my county’s courthouse. The self-help division of family court even refused to help me.  The pain and shame I experienced will NEVER leave me.

I am unable to hold my head up high.  I can not live a normal life because of what my ex did.

The pain and shame will stay with me forever!

.

#340, Ashamed

 

 

 

Advertisements

The Truth Hurts

 

 

One father shares thoughts on the emotional struggles at becoming a father.  Changing, struggling, and evolving are part of becoming a parent.  He acknowledges a key component in divorce-parents putting their needs and wants before the needs and desires of their children.  

.

The truth hurts, the truth that in my early stages of being a dad, I struggled. I fell into depression and lost my way. Everything that was so simple became so difficult, I couldn’t get to grasp of my own life. My family broke down due to the miscommunication with my then partner. When you feel lost as a first time father, your whole world becomes dark. Emotions always run high when you break up with someone you care about, it was difficult. This was two years ago now and it been a tough testing time developing as man and daddy. I try hard to get the right balance, which means sometimes I must compromise or even put my pride aside and submit. I have to be honest to you viewers on why parents fail. Parents fail because they put their own desire ahead of what’s important. We’re so self conscience about what others think we loose ourselves. Males are out trying to conquer as many women as possible as if it a good thing ( I’ve been there). Females are so occupied in being more glamorous than the other, where do you draw the line. I had to ask myself a question, do I love my son enough to man up and be different? Do I want to follow the crowd like I was and be another number? Most importantly, don’t make changes for others but do it for yourself. I post negatives posts and they thrive, why? I post positive post and they struggle. How people love to hate one another like its a good thing. I simply ask where has the love gone in the world?

.

By Fathers that Care.   https://www.facebook.com/Father.that.care?fref=ts

#302, The Truth Hurts

Happily Ever After?

 

A divorced parent shares the disappointment of divorce.

.

.

When I was young I could not wait to marry!  As an adult when we married I thought marriage would be forever……

Now, I guess forever came sooner than expected.

.

#227, Happily Ever After

Self Portrait of Divorce

 

An artist shares her experience with divorce.  A convoluted and personal representation that is well done!
“I drew this while attending a “How to Help Your Child Cope With the Divorce of Their Parents” course as a part of my divorce’s legal procedure (I think it might have even been mandatory) I was so sad for my daughter during that time. Much sadder than I was for myself. And actually that’s never stopped being the case. I was a child of divorce as well and know just how grueling it can be.Artistically, I was so mad when I discovered that I had forgotten to include the chain on the left hand side. I had intended to subliminally put a little bit of optimism into the piece by vaguely hinting at a butterfly – ya know, “You go through this horrible experience and come out the other side ready to spread your new wings”, that kinda thing. Hopefully it still has that impact but just even more subliminally. (ha ha)Anyway, I’m not exactly sure what the image means except that the individual is obviously in an uncomfortable and scary place and they were put there by something outside of their control.I like this image so much, I used it as the cover for one side of my self-published flip comic-book, “Nepotism/The Labyrinth” I can’t even begin to guess how people reconcile that image with the word “nepotism”.”

.
Deviant art self portriat m
..
..
..
.
Deviant Art by beango.  Self_Portrait___Divorce_by_beango.jpg
Link to artwork: http://www.deviantart.com/art/Self-Portrait-Divorce-48229377
 
#146, Self Portrait of Divorce

No More Fighting

 

Horrific awakening!

.

All parents fight in front of their children.  To say my divorce was less than ideal is an understatement!  After we decided to divorce, I admit that we fought in front of our children.  We didn’t just fight in our two children’s presence.  We fought VERY badly.  I never realized how terribly we talked to each other until one day.  On a beautiful peaceful afternoon, our youngest was playing with her dolls in her room and when all of a sudden I heard her screaming.  At the top of her lungs.!  In the few seconds that it took as I rushed to her room, I tried to figure out who she was talking to because we were in the house alone.  The words she was saying were terrible. Very terrible!  All of  a sudden it hit me!  Like a ton of bricks!  Like I had been sucker punched in the stomach!  The words she was saying were the words my ex and I exchanged the night before.   My heart stopped!   My dear sweet absolute angel daughter was talking like the devil. She was just repeating the words she had overheard when me and my ex were fighting.

I realized then that things need to change.  That I need to change.

God is good!  There came a window of opportunity and I was able to have a heart to heart talk with my ex.  He agreed that we could not have our 4 year-old fighting like someone who is possessed by the devil.  Even though we are unable to live together, one thing is true.  We love our children!  A lot!

Things are still not perfect with my ex.  We still disagree. But….we have agreed to disagree.  Miracle of miracles, we have been able to have a friendly relationship.  For four years now.  Our children come first.

That event-hearing my daughter speak like the devil himself changed my life.  I will NEVER feel like that again.

.

.

#145,  No More Fighting

Working Together

 

Co-parenting together in the same home while divorced.  Understandably, this may not be an option for all families!

.

Divorce was a really rough time in my life. That was 4 years ago and we decided to still live together and raise our children together. We share our home in every way except that we have separate bedrooms. We have become good friends and I think we set a good example to our children that we can forgive the past and move on in an amicable manner. Our kids see us communicate nicely and work together. For now, this works for us.

.

.

#136, Working Together