Sadness of Divorce

 

A parent finds this pic in their 7-yr-old child’s school bag. Expressing feelings about a parents divorce may be difficult especially in high conflict situations. Sometimes a child can share their emotions and thoughts through art.  Both houses appear on a hill at the same level indicating equality in their parent’s position (in their life and with power?).  

The child appears sorrowful and seems to have a pronounced frown. The arrows in between the thought bubbles show the need to accommodate both parents. Question marks in the bubbles appear as thoughts indicating confusion about the separation. Perhaps, even being placed in a position to choose sides.  Curiously, the question mark on mom’s side is larger and the hill somewhat higher even though Dad’s house is taller.

The figure has no hands possibly revealing emotional insecurity. No feet in a drawing may indicate a lack of control over their destiny or a sense of helplessness. This is a very unfortunate picture indeed.

Sadly, this is one picture that will not be placed on the fridge.

moms-dads-house-red

#439, Sadness of Divorce

Categories: A Child’s View, A Parent’s Heartache, Impact on child

Pulled

 

A sad depiction of divorce! This sun and child reveal sad faces.  The child is being pulled in two directions between mom and dad. Note how the child seems closer to the mom and moms arm is much longer than dads. Does this indicate a stronger bond with mom, is mom more forceful or does the child want her to reach out? Regardless of the child’s thoughts both parents seem angry.   pulled

#437, Pulled

Ohana Means…

 

The narrative for this character indicates the parents were too busy arguing over left over family matters and money – which really just stressed this child out even further. Home wasn’t a place he felt comfortable nor happy in, and those harsh, ringing words his parents would throw at each other made him flinch. Still, he’d pretend everything was fine when questioned by others, he’d either keep his head low, or keep a faint smile on his face while he said “it’s going to be alright.”

This characters parents’ eventually divorced when he hit his tenth birthday, since the frequent quarrels tore them apart and they couldn’t just put down their pride for each other. His mother moved back to her home country. His father stayed because of work. This child had to make trips back and forth between them whenever holidays rolled around. Just imagine some skinny kid alone at the airport dragging his luggage around, staring at the planes that lifted off while waiting for his flight. This was his vacation. Sometimes he’d make friends on the plane with the person sitting next to him. Sometimes that would make him forget that he was always on the trip alone.

This character, at age 15, spiraled down. Started hanging around with the wrong crowd in school, got into smoking, petty theft, dyed his hair, got his ears pierced, trying out stunts that might have easily gotten him killed but hey, he didn’t care if it did at that time. These were all feats to defy his strict father and the shackles of expectation placed on him, and to taste freedom for himself. The silence at his father’s house became worse. Eden started coming home less.

At age 18 this character experiences a chain of events led him to do volunteer work, and that brought out a positive change in him after a few months. He decided to get himself together again- quit smoking, stop stealing, try to get along with everyone else, and made plans to move out on his own. 

The artist shares that at nineteen years of age, this character  doing …alright. But he still doesn’t know what’s there to live for. Still as lost as ever. 

Divorce and disruption in a child’s upbringing changes everything.

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#435 Ohana means…

Deviant Art: Ohana means… by Memphis-Rex.

http://memphis-rex.deviantart.com/art/Ohana-Means-645369309

 

Am I Your Child?

 

This artist reveals the emotional aspect of divorce and parental conflict. A sad child with large blue tears is trying to cover their face and ears-possibly to drown out the fighting.  Notice, that even the blue cover has a sad face with bewildering eyes and a forlorn look.  This child seems to be holding the cap very tightly to keep the sound out.  I hope the parents stop fighting soon.  

The artist shares the lyrics of a song below the picture.  Undoubtedly, these are the thoughts of too many children experiencing parental conflict. 

Excellent representation of divorce from the child’s view point.

Deviant Art i am_i_your_child__by_twileysparklei-dacxsbk

 

Song lyrics

Four years old
With my back to the door
All I could hear
Was the family war
Your selfish hands
Always expecting more
Am I your child?
Or jut a charity award?

You have a hollowed out heart
But it’s heavy in your chest
I tried so hard to fight it but it’s hopeless
Hopeless
You’re hopeless
Oh father
Please father
I’d love to leave you alone
But I can’t let you go
Oh father
Please father
Put the bottle down
For the love of a daughter

It’s been five years
Since we’ve spoken last
And you can’t take back
What we never had
I can be manipulated
Only so many times
Before even I Love You
Starts to sound like a lie

You have a hollowed out heart
But it’s heavy in your chest
I tried so hard to fight it but it’s hopeless
Hopeless
You’re hopeless
Oh father,
Please father
I’d love to leave you alone
But I can’t let you go
Oh father
Please father
Put the bottle down
For the love of a daughter

Don’t you remember I’m your baby girl?
How you push me our of your world?
Lied to your flesh and your blood
Put your hands on the ones that you swore ou loved
Don’t you remember I’m your baby girl?
How could you throw me right out of your world?

So young when the pain had begun
Now forever afraid of being loved

Oh father
Please father
I’d love to leave you alone but I can’t let you go
Oh father
Please father
Put the bottle down
For the love of a daughter
For the love of a daughter
I recently found out my father cheated on my mom and they divorced..He promised me he would still be there for me..but doesn’t even bother to call me..

Lyrics: For the love of a daughter by Demi Lovato

Base by Hoshi Bases

#420, Am I Your Child?
 Am I Your Child: Deviant Art by TwileySparklei  

Content in the Middle

 

This young artist shares their experience with parental divorce.  Most prominently, each parent is on opposite sides.  Walls on the divider have jagged edges.  Note, there are more sharp points on dad’s side-perhaps indicating additional grief and heartache.  In the middle of the page, a very dark face appears in the center of the ravine.  Broken red hearts are sprinkled throughout the pic.  Curiously, there are more hearts in a straight line on dad’s side.  

Note at the bottom of the page sends a clear message to the parents.  

Deviant Art Content in the middle m

#417, Content in the Middle

I/A Child’s view

FAM / ILY

 

Parental conflict can wreak havoc in a child’s life.  Research is consistent in showing that high parental conflict during divorce has a negative effect on the child. A girl drew a picture of her family as a volleyball net with Team 1 and Team 2.  The word FAM ILY  reveals the divide she feels between her parents. Her mother is on one side and her father on the other side.

I wonder if these parents are aware that their daughter describes experience in their divorce as ‘she is a volley ball.’

Deviant Art Team 1m

#415, FAM / ILY

DrWoliver.com

 

Ashley’s Heart

 

A sophisticated representation of divorce for one articulate artist!  The heart is colorized  and compartmentalized with all the emotional and thought experiences marked.  Excellent project.  This could be useful in identifying feelings and thoughts about their parents’ divorce.

Ashleys heart m

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# 333, Ashley’s Heart